A DAY IN THE LIFE 2011

(After Lennon and McCartney)

I read Heat magazine oh boy

About a lucky group who made the grade

And though it made me rather mad

Well I just had to laugh

...I saw their photograph

They spruced their hair up with some mousse

They hoped it masked their awful singing voice

A crowd of people booed away

I kicked the TV in

Now I need a new one as the old one’s sitting in the bin!

I saw a film today oh boy

Called how to lose friends ...blah de blah de blah

It starred that bloke called Simon Pegg

Him from “Shaun of the Dead”

He was also in a film with someone who was once in “Friends”

I’ve turned the Tee Vee o-o-o-o-on

Woke up, switched off my phone

Let the dog chew on a bone

Made the sandwiches and fed my son

Made a brew, and put the radio on

HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH!

Made a flask and had a wee

Clothes are on at eight four-three

Got the bus and went and had a doze

Snored right through my stupid fat wide nose

Aah ah ah ah!  Ah ah aaaah!  Ah ah aaaaaah!

I saw the Star today oh boy

Just poxy stories ‘bout celebrities

There were no news stories inside

Just girls in lingerie

Why am I complaining what the hell is going wrong with me?

I’d like to waaaaaatch Teeeeeeee Veeeeeeeee!

(applause)

Thank you.  Thank you, so much.  You’re too kind!

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