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Tuesday 27 November 2012


THE TWELFTH OF A REGULAR-ISH SERIES OF FORGOTTEN FILMS THAT SHOULD BE REMEMBERED



So another of these forgotten film posts and this one mourns the passing of one of the cleverest and funniest films of all time that WASN’T made by Woody Allen BUT more remarkably than that, Woody’s own attempt at a similar type film was arguably less-funny and less-clever (A rare feat perhap?)  Now this is a film that many film may never have heard of and those that have may have dismissed it as being gimicky and trite but I think that it’s cleverness almost puts people off what a stunning achievement this is in writing and directing.  Around this time the films star made four films all of which were decent but were largely over-looked at the box office with all but one exception, so tonight I’m making this the exception for the ever-so exceptional “DEAD MEN DON’T WEAR PLAID”.

DEAD MAN DON’T WEAR PLAID (1982)



Rigby Reardon is a private detective who meets a new client Juliet Forrest who is looking into her father’s mysterious death.  From then on Rigby Reardon dances in and out of some of Hollywood’s greatest films with its greatest stars of thirties, forties and fifties to solve a mystery involving femme fatales, Nazi spies, tough guys, double-crossers and even cross-dressers.

The film is a labour of love as sets are painstakingly recreated as well as costume, helped in part by the work of legendary costume designer Edith Head who no doubt originally created many of the looks in this period.  Miklos Rosza is also the composer of “DEAD MEN” and this allows the film to recapture the feel of the era.  The script is a beautiful pastiche of the noir films of the era and deliciously captures and sends-up the classics of this period, largely helped by the multiple uses of Humphrey Bogart in a number of his classic films “DARK PASSAGE”, “IN A LONELY PLACE” and my favourite of the three “THE BIG SLEEP”.  The direction is flawless and puts Steve Martin effortlessly in every scene creating some memorable exchanges, so why has it been so forgotten?

Well, to be honest it may well be that the film is overlooked by it’s more successful counterpart “THE MAN WITH TWO BRAINS” which is a more ridiculous and outlandish spoof of 50’s horror films that takes most of the plaudits.  This is probably why “DEAD MEN” doesn’t get the attention it so richly deserves.  

“DEAD MEN DON’T WEAR PLAID” is a wonderful tribute to the fantastically gritty yet elegant noir films of the 1940’s yet it also works as a fantastically clever comedy that is woefully unappreciated and one of the wonderful series of films that Steve Martin made around this time that started with “DEAD MEN DON’T WEAR PLAID” continued with “THE MAN WITH TWO BRAINS” and concluded with “THE LONELY GUY” and finished with the wonderfully bizarre “ALL OF ME”, a time when Steve Martin was exceptional but nobody knew it (FYI The trailer at the bottom for "DEAD MEN" is AWESOME!)









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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2efDnLZjsk

Friday 16 November 2012


“NO, MISTER BOND, I EXPECT YOU TO DIE!’  THE PERILS AND PITFALLS OF WRITING BOND.



So, as anyone who’s aware of my sister’s film review blog I was not that enamoured with the latest installment of James Bond’s adventures.  “SKYFALL” was a big let down for me and the universal five star rating was a major bone of contention.  Of course I’ve been here before with disagreeing with the critics, with “JURASSIC PARK” and “THE DARK KNIGHT” being memorable bug-bears, but after the dust had settled from the explosions, the blood dried from the fights and the dry martinis sipped hungrily from the glass I wondered “Just how hard is it to write a decent Bond script?”

When we look back it’s not that hard to see that the last, best by a country mile Bond in recent years was the awesome “CASINO ROYALE” which re-invented Bond as a brash new 00, far too keen to prove himself, the younger man in a hurry for success who makes too many mistakes, that an older wiser 00 would not.  It still had a beginning bit, but much more low-key (Parallels with “LIVE AND LET DIE” but not an exact rip-off.), it had supposedly gorgeous Bond girls, stunts, action, intrigue, a mad villain and Bond’s life in jeopardy on several occasions.  It was everything you could want from Bond (Except it did miss a henchman) and was a timely reminder how good Bond can be.  However the last two adventures have felt more like, “THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN”, rather than “GOLDFINGER” (Or even “GOLDENEYE”) and one wonders just why the writers are struggling to find Bond.

One may look at their desire to have practically zero humour for the character as a source of issue, yes no-one wants it so that every line is a throw-away one-liner, but very often it’s the dry wit that works best (“James, why are you late?” “I fell out of an aeroplane without a parachute”, absolute honesty, and a class line in a poor film) again in the latest installment Bond’s scenes with Dame Judi and their exchanges are what makes the film work so well, so firstly, slightly (and I mean slightly) more humour would not go amiss.

Note to writers ...James Bond is not Jason Bourne (One might even go as far as to say that Jason Bourne was Robert Ludlum’s version of Bond, same initials and everything?)

Also the lack of henchman is proving a big concern now, but here, when I attempted to craft a henchman myself, is where even I struggled.  You start running through the things to avoid and it gets very tricky, a list of things not to have includes metal arms/metal hands, metal teeth, scars, blade rimmed bowler hats, shoes with knives, turbans, killer thighs, east-german-blond-slicked-back-hair, etc.  You wind up struggling for ways to be inventive or different but try you must.

So ...How did I do?  Well, in truth it’s still in progress but I will leave the ultimate judgement to you, the fans, as I showcase so far, my own Bond script "TOMORROW IS NEVER GOLDEN TILL IT DIES WITH DIAMONDS ON YOUR MAJESTY’S SECRET LASER".  Just kidding, here is the provisional title and the first half of the story thus far, if you enjoy it re-post on Facebook and Twitter and if you don't ...Then re-post it anyway.  Enjoy my take on Ian Fleming's James Bond 007 in...



EVE OF DESTRUCTION

The music starts the circle moves across a black screen while Monty Norman’s iconic James Bond theme rolls on.  The circle expands and the gun barrel image waits for Bond to move onto the screen, as he fails to appear the barrel moves from the right only to be met on the left hand side of the screen by a smiling Bond, silenced Walther already ready, who shoots before the barrel has made it all the way across.  He removes the silencer, emotionless, as the blood dribbles down and the barrel wobbles.  Circle image changes to an orchestra, playing in an immense theatre the opening movement of Beethoven’s ninth.  As the camera pans out to the boxes we see various members of an organisation known to us as operating within the shadows, its purpose unclear.  In the boxes dotted around the huge auditorium they slide earpieces into place and begin to talk.




Member 1
The Russian project failed.  Do we know why?

Member 2
The authorities got a sniff of it.  They closed us down like we were petty criminals.

Member 1
What about Puchev?

Member 2
Dead!  They took him outside and killed him.  Removed him from their history like he had never existed.

Mr White
It appears we are not so much in the shadows as once we thought, are we?

(A third man speaks, an older looking man, balding but with a commanding voice, the kind of men people would follow into battle.)

Member 3
Do you have a suggestion, Mister White?

Victor Ernst

He doesn’t but I do.  NNNGGH!

(All the members take note when the new member speaks.  He is a man whose heavily-lined features bear the scars of a life of struggle and turmoil, a shock of white hair on his head and goatee beard makes him look older, but the sparkling eyes still hold within them the promise of youth.  But as he closes his sentence a seizure takes hold of him, the veins in his neck and temple suddenly pumping with a fury, his eyes terrified, for a moment it looks like his entrance into the scene may also be his exit.  A kind hand appears on Ernst’s shoulder and the calming face of Ernst’s main lieutenant, Nixon Albrecht, an accountant looking type appears by Ernst’s side.)

Nixon
Are you all right, Mister Ernst?

Victor Ernst
I’m fine, I’m fine.  Thank you, Nixon.

Member 3
You were saying?

(All the members take note when the new member speaks.  He is a younger man, in his thirties, but the shock of white hair on his head and goatee beard without moustache makes him look much older.)

Victor Ernst
Maybe it’s time we emerged from the shadows, taking charge in a more direct way.

Member 3
World domination?  Please.  We may be many things but cliche villains we are not.

Victor Ernst
Then don’t think of it as world domination, think of it as a decisive, corporate takeover of government.

Member 3
We already control so much of government that...

Victor Ernst
But clearly not all of it or Puchev would still be alive.  You’re right we’re not cliche villains, we’re just industrialists, venture capitalists, philanthropists, bankers, intellectuals, businessmen, all  of whom are sure we’d do a better job of running things but are held back by the democratic process ...And the fact that seven billion people would probably act if we did attempt to take over, unless...

Member 3
...Unless?

Victor Ernst
  Unless we get rid of that numerical disadvantage, tip the balance in our favour ...Decisively!

(There is silence among the other members as they consider going from being the people who are behind the throne to being sat on it.  Member 3 brings everyone back to reality.) 

Member 3
We will need to put this to the rest of the executive, but I take it from your enthusiastic tone you already have a plan.

Victor Ernst
I do.  All we have to do first is dispose of any annoying opposition.

Lettering:  TWO YEARS LATER.

Cut to:  INT:  Hotel.  Night.  We see a tuxedo’s man struggling to get his breath as a wire around his neck is restricting him.  Bond’s eyes strain and struggle as if in pain, he clutches at his neck some more to try and claw away the wire.  Meanwhile in the background Bill Tanner can be heard on speakerphone trying to break into Bond’s concentration while his eyes hint at the pain and struggle that he’s going through.

Tanner
Bond?  Tanner here, orders in.  We need you back at GCHQ, soon as.

(Cut to:  Pull-back shot.  Bond is in relaxed garb throttling a man in a dinner jacket who’s struggling for breath.)

Bond
One second.  (Drags man over to the table)  BE! ...(Smacks his head against the table) ...QUIET!  (Smacks it again sending him out like a light.  Bond carries on throttling him for a few moments before letting the body fall to the floor.)  Say again, Bill.

Tanner
We’re recalling all the 00’s.  How soon can you be heading back?

Bond
I’ll be at the airport in about thirty minutes (Hears footfalls outside his door) ...Ish!

(The door explodes in a hail of bullets from heavy weaponry.  Bond shoots out the window grabs the dead man’s gun from the floor and jumps through the remaining glass, just as two men burst through the shattered door and start shooting after him, glass, wood and cement forming a cloud in the air as Bond falls two stories, rolls of the hotel canopy onto his feet and disappears into a crowd celebrating Chinese new year.  Bond looks back to the assassins who are looking down at the street but cannot see him, they dart back into the hotel with the aim seemingly of pursuing him at street level.  Bond continues to move through the crowds but as he looks back he notices four more men following only ten metres behind, looking for a way out Bond sees a Chinese dragon in the street.  As the dragon gets propelled into the air Bond makes his way underneath, as it drops down on Bond the men following him emerge from the crowd seeking him out but seeing nothing.   




(Cut to:  INT.  Dragon.  The dragon operators look round at Bond who makes certain that both guns are ready.

Bond
Good evening.

(Cut to:  EXT.  Street celebrations.  The black-suited men walk either side of the dragon and scan the crowd.  Bond observes their walking next to his position and gestures the men to hoist the dragon into the air.  They do so and Bond makes four shots and four kills in just over a second, his pursuers not managing to get even a shot off.)

Bond
(To the stunned looking dragon operators)  Xin Nian Kuai le!

(The dragon operators give a timid cheer before they lower the dragon and carry on.  Behind Bond a honking horn and harsh headlights burst through the throng indicating the remaining pursuers are far from done.  Bond runs through the celebrations and emerges onto Broadway, the celebrations being in New York rather than China.  Bond hails a cab and gets in.)

Bond
JFK, please.  There’s five Benjamin's with you your name on it if you get me there in less than twenty minutes.

Taxi Driver
(In an Indian accent) You got it, man.

(The cab speeds off through a myriad of other cabs and assorted traffic.  The black sedan following emerges and then brakes as it realises it cannot compete in New York traffic in such a big clunky vehicle.  It’s then that they see an ambulance approaching and hijack the vehicle, removing their previous occupants at gunpoint.  The lights and sirens whistle on as the ambulance lurches erratically forward.  Bond looks back and sees the vehicle parting the traffic behind, its sirens and lights feeling like a shark heading towards him.  The cab slows.)

Bond
What are you doing?

Taxi Driver
There’s an ambulance coming through.

Bond
That’s not an ambulance.

Taxi Driver
What?

(While the taxi slows Bond gets into the front passenger seat hanging on to the side of the vehicle while it moves.)

Bond
I said it’s not an ambulance, keep going!

(The ambulance door opens as the taxi-driver floors it through increasingly stationery traffic, a man with a sub-machine gun hangs out of the ambulance and begins shooting, catching the back of the taxi with a couple of shots.  The taxi driver takes evasive action through the traffic and darts down one of the side streets, the ambulance slams on and follows them, the cab then darts back along another street while the hanging on Marksman  can only get a short burst out on the gun, as the ambulance makes the next turning they only get another short burst out that misses the taxi entirely as it heads back towards Broadway and on the main road to the Brooklyn bridge, swerving through traffic as the ambulance also makes the sharp turn sending the man who was hanging out of the ambulance out of it completely.  As the taxi driver looks back though his sense of victory is short-lived as his eyes go wide in fear.)

Taxi Driver
You've got to be kidding!




(Behind them another man is hanging out of the ambulance this time with an RPG launcher as they now start to weave through traffic on the bridge.  Bond looks back and as just as the ambulance steadies yanks the steering wheel to the left, the grenade passing by the car and blowing a hole in the famous bridge’s brick work.  While the taxi driver yells at Bond he yanks the wheel back hard to the right, the taxi-driver hits the brakes and the taxi spins as the ambulance starts to gain momentum Bond aims at the passenger side tyre and makes the shot as the rubber explodes causing the driver to lose control, drive over the sloping back of a passing Porsche and go through the gap the RPG created, which has turned into a plume of smoke and masonry, crashing into the street below.

Cut to:  EXT: JFK.  The taxi pulls up.  Bond gets out and walks round to the driver’s side as the driver runs his fingers through his sweaty hair and brow.)

Bond
(Splitting a wad of notes)  This is for the ride (looks at the vehicle) this is for any damage (Goes through rest of notes and then decides not to split them) and this is for you.

Taxi Driver
Thank you, (holding up a card) this is my card which I give to everyone (Bond moves to take the card and the cabby brings it back in) ...Except to you.  Next time get another bloody cab!  (Driver sets off and honks indignantly.)

Bond
Bye then.

(Bond dumps his guns in the bin before entering the airport.

Cut to:  INT: JFK.  The camera is at leg level.  Bond strides through with purpose, a man with a trench-coat approaches and passes him an envelope.  Bond proceeds to the check in desk and presents his newly acquired papers.  The woman looks at the distinguished man in the photo and regards the disheveled man in front of her, drenched in sweat, dirt on his outfit and blood on his face, with disdain.)

Check-in assistant
(Disinterested) Any hand-luggage?

(Bond looks at her as if to say “You’ve got to be kidding?”)

Cut to:  TITLES

Cut to:  Ext.  Early morning.  Mongolia.  City of Ulan Bator.  Relatively quiet streets are disturbed by shouts and the noise of boots, doors being rattled, windows shoved and short tempers rounding on anyone who gets in their way as they look for someone who would appear to have an ever-decreasing life-span.  They scour the streets and doorways, peering through windows and making their presence felt.  The catatonic whine of motorbikes bouncing off the low-level housing.  One motorcycle rides up to a group of armed men and points down an alley-way.  They nod and head off into the darkness.  The rider lifts his visor up and smiles.  His western features in marked contrast to the Mongolians chasing him.  




He rides off, away from the men looking for him, seemingly in the clear, but spied by a small black-haired woman who picks up a mobile phone.  The visored man rides through streets and while reading punches in a text with an attachment on his mobile phone.  Up ahead he does not notice a middle-aged man with a stick crossing the street.  As he approaches him he puts the phone in a pocket and slows to about twenty and gives him a polite wave as he rides past, the man nods back ...Then rams his walking stick in between the spokes of the rear wheel sending the rider sprawling across the road, his mobile leaving the pocket and landing on the floor.  The rider gets up, shaken but in tact, and removes his helmet to reveal a handsome man with black hair and a greying beard.  The old man stands by the downed motorbike and cricks his neck from side to side, before retrieving his walking stick with a smile.

002
Fine.

(The middle-aged man nods.  002 reaches back and removes his silenced Walther and fires. The middle-aged man moves and whacks the first bullet away with his cane.  002 stops for a moment and lowers his gun in amazement.

002
What the ...?

(002 raises his gun again and begins to fire, however, with a deceptive amount of speed, a combination of running and jumping off localised obstacles and surfaces he manages to avoid getting hit as 002 pours shots out almost non-stop.)

002
Will (shot) ...You (shot) ...Just (shot) ...Stand (shot) ...Still!

(The gun clicks out as empty, 002 throws it at the middle-aged man who knocks it out of the way with his walking stick and grins.) 

002
So that’s how you want it then?

(002 hurls his helmet at the man, who, due to the size of the projectile, this time decides to move to the side rather than smash it with his stick.  002 moves to punch but instead swings and misses with his opponent getting three blows of his own successfully landed on the agent, 002 then aims to connect with an elbow, receives another blow for his troubles and is swept off his feet.  Being no slouch the agent flicks his feet back and jerks himself off the ground and charges at the man, catching him in the mid-riff and getting him onto the ground, reigning blows upon his smaller, nimbler opponent, until a blow to the neck sends 002 reeling.  The middle-aged man returns to his feet and 002 fights on, but every time he tries with a move his opponent counters with three blows of his own, all sharp, fierce and all to vital areas, eventually knocking 002 to the ground.  Coughing up blood and clearly more then dazed 002 reaches for his phone, presses a button and throws it at the middle-aged man, who instinctively, hits it with his stick, causing it to explode on impact sending the middle-aged man to the ground, face-down in the dirt and in severe pain.  002 staggers up, gets back on the motorbike and begins to make good his escape.

Cut to:  EXT:  Wilderness road.  The motorbike carries on through the rough terrain then wobbles and 002 falls to the ground.  He knows he isn’t going to make it and inserts an earpiece.)

002
Control.  It’s 2.

(Cut to:  INT:  MI6 main communications office, Tanner walks over.)

Tanner
We hear you 2.  Where are you?

Back to:  EXT:  Mongolia.

002
Out of time.  The list I sent earlier ...They’re the loose end ...QUANTUM plan to get rid of them, soon as.  They may even have started already.

Back to:  INT:  MI6.

Tanner
Can you get to a secure location.

Back to:  EXT:  Mongolia.  002 unzips his leathers, opens his shirt to reveal a skin that shows rapidly increasing red patches, telling 002 that he's bleeding profusely beneath the skin.)

002
No.  Ha ha!  The fabled five-punch technique.  What a stupid way to die.

(He laughs some more then coughs up some blood and dies.)

Tanner
2?  002?  002?

Cut to:  INT:  M’s ante office.  Bond enters with a smirk having washed and changed, he is looking his usual elegant self in a gloriously cut three-piece black suit.  He glances at Moneypenny who gives him a guarded smile.)

Moneypenny
You’re late ...As usual.

Bond
Yes, it was harder than I thought to catch a cab in New York.  Everyone here?

(Moneypenny shakes her head)

Moneypenny
2 didn’t make it.

(Bond’s cheeks flinch but that is all the emotion he shows, after that his demeanour goes slightly colder but otherwise he is largely unaffected.)

Bond
I see.

Moneypenny
Did you know him?

Bond
Not well.  Just socially ...But it’s the principal isn’t it?  Straight in? (smirks)

Money penny
(wearing a smirk she’s trying to stop) Straight in.

(Bond walks in and sees eight other 00 agents stood or sat around.  It is easy to see what Vesper meant about them being little more than cold-hearted bastards, all of them wear a dispassionate look the same way they would a fine pair of italian shoes or a finely spun silk tie.  They all seem similar but different and vary in age, three look around the same age as Bond, one is markedly older and the rest look slightly younger.  M is sat with a variety of files on his desk.  He looks sombre but like Bond there is only the merest trace of emotion on his face.)

Bond
Apologies for my lateness, Moneypenny told me about 2.

(The other faces in the room show little emotion as the downside of their job is laid bare in front of them.  The reality that the only retirement for them will probably be in a box being an unspoken truth that hangs heavy in the air like second-hand smoke.  M looks around the room and sensing the gloom descending decides a quick briefing is necessary to dispel the misery.)

M
We can mourn 2 once this is over.  He was in Mongolia following up a lead on our old friends at QUANTUM.  Before he was killed he was able to scan over a list of nine names and two figures, it’s your job to protect the names.

(Bond is just about to speak when a sombre voice echoes from the corner.)

001
I don’t suppose you’d tell us what the numbers are?

(Bond turns and shrouded in the shadows sits the oldest of the 00’s, almost invisible in the corner.)

M
The numbers are five billion and one hundred and twelve million.

(All of the 00’s chirp into life with questions and suggestions.)

00’s
Cost of a new weapon? Blackmail demands? Money laundering?
Loss of life?   Robbery/embezzlement? I think blackmail covered that
Some kind of extortion plot?

M
That’s enough.  Our job isn’t to worry about the numbers.  Analysis teams are already working on that, your job is protection only.  

Bond
Are there any noticeable connections between the names?

M
Two of them work in biotech, the others are plumbers, engineers, geologists and a vulcanologist.  So, yes, and no.

(Bond considers the answer while M continues.)

M
You’re all on the first flights out, eyes only, of course.  1, you’re in Sierra Fuego (hands folder out, 1 gets up and starts flicking through while exiting the office.) 9, Lisbon, (Hands out folder and continues to do so all the agents who receive their orders and then leave the office immediately.) 4, Hong Kong, 6, Quebec, 8, Panama City, 3, Marrakech, 5, Rio and 7 ...Mogadishu (Hands folder to Bond.)

Bond
Somalia?

M
Do you know of any other Mogadishu?

Bond
No, sir.

M
Good.  The assignments got handed out in order of arrival, next time get here on time.

Bond
Yes, sir.  Of course, sir.  

(As Bond leaves M smiles.)

Cut to:  INT:  Bond’s flat.  Bond showers and prepares some food and checks the terrain from the address M gave him and makes some notes while drinking an Earl Grey tea.  His doorbell buzzes in its short monotone manner and breaks his concentration.  Remaining ice-cold he grabs his mobile and his gun and heads to the door.  He stands to the side of the door, presses his phone button which chirps out Bond’s voice with a “YES” while he stands, gun ready, to the left of the door.

Giselle
James?

(Bond re-holsters his weapon and opens the door.)

Bond
Giselle.  What a pleasant surprise, long time no see.

Giselle
I was in the area and thought I would pop in for a night-cap.

Bond
An excellent idea but I am only here for a few hours.  I have to be on an early flight tomorrow.  Come in.

(Bond walks back into his kitchen and begins preparing a drink.  It’s a military-style operation as he assembles the components for two drinks in a line in front of him and starts assembling the mix while he talks.  As he does so in the background the silhouetted figure in the foreground starts to unfasten her dress, letting it fall to the floor.)

Giselle
Where are you going this time?

Bond
Central Africa.  We’ve got a bit of an emergency there.

Giselle
An emergency?  How does an accountant have an emergency?

Bond
My team have lost their calculators and they can’t do manual long division.

Giselle
It’s hard to believe you have such a boring job.  You’re so much more interesting.

Bond
It’s usually the way.  The interesting people have all the boring jobs and the boring people have all the interesting jobs.  It’s probably the reason why talk shows are so insufferably...

(Bond turns with the drinks and sees her naked apart from a white winter-bobble-hat.)

Bond
...Divine.

Giselle
Do you like my night-cap?

(Bond lays the glasses down, leans against the doorway and starts to unfasten his tie.)

Bond
I think I prefer your version of a night-cap to mine.



Cut to:  INT:  Zoo.  What looks like a cross between the great exhibition hall and five or six aircraft hangers all combined together is filled with a variety of habitats with various wildcats, zebras, gazelles and ibis’ frolic freely within each area.  Somewhere in the distance an elephant trumpets its presence.  The man we were introduced to earlier Victor Ernst is feeding a giraffe that feeds willingly from his hand.  His second-in-command, Nixon Albrecht, stands near him watching the scene intently but also nervously.  It is then while Nixon is enjoying feeding the giraffe that two men appear to ruin his good mood..

Second Lieutenant
Sir, 002 is dead.  But the others got away.

Victor Ernst
Did anything become known?

(The junior within the QUANTUM organisation becomes quiet.)

Victor Ernst
I said DID ANYTHING BECOME KNOWN?

Second Lieutenant
Yes sir.  002 got the list of loose ends.

(Victor considers this for a second before speaking again.)

Victor Ernst
How many men did we lose?

Second Lieutenant
(Pause) Thirty, sir.

Third Lieutenant
Eight of them with Bond.

(Victor strides up to the man with the bad news and punches him in the face.  He gets up and wipes his lips which has blood running down.  Victor and Nixon both look away in disgust.)

Victor Ernst
Blood?  Eurgh!  Get away, GET AWAY!  (Victor removes a hanky and covers his mouth)  Dammit, you know how I feel about Blood!  The list is inconsequential.  They are loose ends because they played a part in our plans, unknowingly.  Their disposal is merely a precautionary measure.  If history has taught us anything it’s that even when great plans become known very often they are still successful, D-day landings, October revolution, It will have no bearing on our success, but Bond ...That man!  Do we know where he’s going.

Second Lieutenant
Mogadishu, sir.

Victor Ernst
Get a party to meet him down there, a large one.  I want that man in pieces by the end of the day.

(Cut to:  INT:  Airplane.  Bond sits in first class, drink in hand, looking out of the window running the file through his head.)  

M (Voice-over)
Name:  Domingo Seles.  Occupation:  Engineer, company CEO, pilot.  Nationality:  Somalian.  No picture on file.  Extremely secretive and little known about him.  Fled back to Somalia a few days ago ...Reason unknown.

Cut to:  EXT:  Day.  Mogadishu International Airport.  A man in a suit awaits Bond on the open area off the runway.  Three men appear behind him and nod over.  One of them leaves in one direction and the other go in the opposite.  Seconds later the personal address system pings into life.

PA
Would Mister Kolowa report to the supervisor’s office, Mister Kolowa to the supervisor’s office.  Thank you.

(Bond’s contact looks annoyed and walks into a small office at the ramshackle airport.)

Cut to:  INT:  Day.  Supervisor’s office.

Kolowa
I am Kolowa

Assassin
I know.

(The assassin takes two silenced shots.  Kolowa falls backwards and, as he does, the man’s associates catch him in a body bag and zip him up.  The three of them take him out of the office and the supervisor arrives back seconds later.

Cut to:  EXT.  Day.  Mogadishu International Airport.  The private jet lands on the runway and Bond emerges in a white shirt, sunglasses and khaki pants.) 




Bond walks through the airport and as he leaves on the other side is met by the two men who caught Kolowa in the body bag.  They shadow Bond either side with a gun pointed in his mid-riff, shepherding him into a jeep containing a driver and the assassin who killed Kolowa.  The jeep speeds off.)

Bond 
I take it I’m right in thinking that you’re not my designated contact?

(All the men remain silent.)

Bond
Where are we going?

(The men do not reply, staring at Bond in silent contempt before the driver responds)

Driver
We are taking you to your death.

Bond 
I see.

Driver
You’d be wise to...

(Bond nods and slams both arms back trapping his captors guns while moving his body forward.  Both men shoot at the same time, killing each other almost instantly as they fall out of the jeep.  As the man in front brings his gun up Bond launches a kick at it and instead the assassin shoots the driver.  Bond jumps from the jeep onto a passing truck.  The last armed guard brings his gun up as the truck slows to a stop making Bond an easy target.  Bond points in front of the jeep, smiles and nods.  The guard looks round to see why?  The truck stopped due to the lights changing and a bus ploughs into the jeep and flips it over.  Bond jumps off the truck and hails a cab.

Cut to:  INT:  Cab.  Bond is being bounced about on uneven roads while the driver talks non-stop.

Cut to: EXT:  Quiet street in a rough looking neighbourhood.  Bond pays the cabby who smiles far more enthusiastically than Bond’s last driver.  Bond turns to a bar that’s pock-marked with bullet-holes like a teenage boy pock-marked with acne.  The windows have bars and little light comes from inside.  Bond takes a look up and down the street and heads in.

Cut to:  INT:  Bar.  The noise and conversation stop as soon as Bond enters.  He does not let this bother him and merely walks to the bat confidently.

Bond
Good afternoon.

(Several eyes glare angrily at him and the barman is ignoring him, disregarding this Bond continues anyway.)

Bond
I think I’ll have a rum, please.  On second thoughts make it a double.

Barman
We don’t like westerners here!
  
(Bond looks around and immediately spots a number of revolvers in view, hanging from hips or resting leisurely on laps.)

Bond
Unless their surname is Smith or Wesson?

(At that the barman reaches beneath the counter and brings up a cloudy bottle of rum and pours two disgusting shots into a glass and pushes it over to Bond.)

Barman
On the house.

(Bond takes the glass, holds it in the air to look at the cloudy liquid, knowing he has little choice but to drinks and knocks it back, as quick as possible, with the merest of grimaces.)

Barman
Impressive.

Bond
Thank you.  Now I’m looking for ...Someone ...By the name ...Of ...Domingo...

(The world fades to black as the bar bursts into laughter and Bond lurches into unconsciousness.  From a back room a big man emerges, at least seven feet tall, with two rows of gold teeth and a cold temperament in such a hot climate, even the men in the bar seem to retreat inside themselves when he appears.)

Domingo
Bring him.

(Cut to:  INT:  A windowless room.  Bond comes to on a leather sofa.  He forces himself up and notices that his wrists are unbound which he finds unusual.  In the shadows Bond can make out a desk, a variety of boxes and a set of filing cabinets, the office is relatively large about seven metres by seven.  From in the shadows a deep male voice echoes out.)

Voice
If you have come to kill me, Mister Bond, you will not be successful.

Bond
If I’d wanted to come and kill you, you’d be dead already.

(The man steps forward wearing an open shirt, a vest and camouflage pants, from his waste hangs a machete.  A woman brings some documents and the man scrawls a signature across them.  Bond chuckles.)

Voice.
I am Domingo, Mister Bond.

(Bond assesses the man for a moment before speaking.)

Bond
No.  No you’re not.  You’re lying.  Admittedly you lie with purpose and it’s a good lie, but a lie nonetheless.

Voice 
I can assure you I...

Bond 
I read the report on Domingo.  You’ve got the fingernails and the build to be an engineer, yes, but you don’t have the savvy to a CEO.  Being the head of a company requires tactical skill and, without being rude, you don’t look like you have the tactical knowledge to tie your own shoelaces.  Now where is Domingo?

(Something flashes across the man’s face, but not fear, concern maybe and he marches forward moving his machete and lashes down with it.  Bond darts to the side and lands an elbow to the big man’s gut that has little effect.  The man’s retaliatory blow has far more impact and sends Bond sprawling.  The big man comes forward as Bond, dazed, gets to his feet and leans against the cabinets, the man kicks out at Bond who feints to the side and the man’s foot smashes through the one of the door’s drawers.  Bond tries a punch to the man’s kidneys but he might as well try and punch concrete, the man swings the machete and misses, then removes his foot from the cabinets, he lashes down again this time Bond ducks down and opens the top drawer, the man’s arm smacks against it and breaks the drawer from its hinges while the knife clatters to the floor.  As Bond moves to collect it the man kicks it away and launches a knee at Bond, who rolls with the blow and scrambles back.  The man now calmly picks up the fallen knife, but, as he turns he meets the side of the broken cabinet which bond uses to smash him across the face.  Somehow the big man is still standing and punches at Bond.  Bond catches the blow with the drawer, and punches the man in the face with the drawer but still he does not fall, he swings at Bond with the machete, Bond tries to counter but the force of the blow, even though caught by the metal container, sends Bond to the ground.  The big man walks over with purpose, his left foot stepping into the drawer as he walks into the shadows.  Bond pulls at it with everything he’s got and the man slips to the ground, Bond gets up quicker, grabs the knife and rests his foot on the big man’s chest.)

Bond
Now, where is Domingo?

(The shot echoes off the room’s walls, the bullet knocking the knife out of Bond’s hand.  The man’s secretary emerges from the shadows.)

Domingo
I am Domingo.  Step away from my little brother or the next bullet will be through your heart.

Bond
Your little brother?  (Bond offers a hand down and pulls the man up.) Sorry about that.  (Picks up the knife and hands it back to him.)  Domingo Seles?

Domingo
I am Domingo.

Bond
It’s a pleasure to meet you.  My name is Bond, James Bond, I work for British Intelligence...

Domingo
Now there’s an oxymoron if ever I’ve heard it!

Bond
Nice, but seriously, we believe...

(Three suited men appear in the doorway and look at Domingo’s brother while reaching into their jackets.) 

Suited man
Domingo?

Domingo’s Brother
Yes?

(They remove their weapons and are about to shoot when one of them notices Bond with Domingo and switch their attention to them.  Bond drags domingo over the desk and forces her down behind it, getting off one shot and taking the middle-man down.  The other two start firing, as they do, Domingo’s brother throws his machete through the air and it lodges itself in another man’s side, as he falls the final hit-man decides to change target and as he takes aim at Domingo’s brother Bond gets his next shot off and fells the man before he can kill the big man.)

Bond
Come on, we need to get you out of here.

Domingo
I’m not going anywhere without my brother!

Bond
What’s your brother’s name?

Domingo
Ozul.

Bond
OZUL!  WE’RE GOING NOW!  (Bond moves to the door where the dead men lay.)

Ozul
NO!  This way!

(Ozul opens a secret door and the three of them leave via a back route.  They run through a corridor lined with alcohol bottles and various other produce.  They run through a number of corridors and through to the bar and all three of them jump over the counter, but as they near the door they hear an automated thrum too regular to be anything that occurs in nature.  Bond yanks both Ozul and Domingo to the ground as machine gun fire peppers the front the the bar.  The pirates and former fighters who make up the bar’s clientele refuse to take this lying down and start to open fire on the helicopter that has attacked their bar.  Bond, Ozul and Domingo dive into a nearby mini-van while the helicopter is distracted and head off at speed down the main street.  Ozul gets in the drivers seat and Bond leans out of the window to take a shot at the pursuing helicopter when five motorcyclists join in the pursuit and open fire on the van.)




Ozul
Where are we heading?!

Domingo
The docks!  We’ll bring out the big-guns!

(Ozul smiles at his sister’s comment but his smile leaves when shots strafe through the back of the vehicle.)

Domingo
Why are they trying to kill me?

Bond
It’s probably best we discuss that later.

(At a break in shooting, Bond get’s off three shots and gets two of the riders off their vehicles.)

Domingo
George?  It’s Domingo, we’re heading your way now and need a welcoming committee ...Yeah, a big-one.  Be ready for us!

(One of the other two motorcyclists stands on his bike, accelerates and jumps on the vans roof.)

Bond
BRAKE!

(Ozul slams on and the rider slides off the roof and into the van’s path.  The two other motorcyclists slide then clatter in the back of the van.  Ozul then starts the van again and drives over the hapless rider in front of the van.  The other two remaining riders flank the vehicle, one jumps on one side and Bond pulls the man’s gun arm into the vehicle, on the other side the remaining rider leans against the vehicle to take aim at Bond.  Domingo snatches Bond’s gun, squeezes the trigger and hits him square in the centre of his helmet and he slumps out of the vehicle.  Bond looks at the road in front while Ozul drives and sees a wall ahead.)

Bond
OZUL!  RIGHT!

(Ozul looks back, looks forward, figures what Bond wants a swerves to the side at speed.  Bond lets go of the man’s arm as he smashes into the wall killing him instantly.)

Domingo
There’s the ship.

(Straight ahead of them the haulage ship that is clearly home to pirates sits in the harbour, however, their view of it is suddenly obscured by the helicopter that hovers in front of them.  Ozul hits the brake and the machine gunner takes aim.

Cut to:  Close up.  EXT:  Twin machine gun barrels burst into life the noise almost deafening.  Bond, Ozul and Domingo watch from the shot-out van in surprise and fear as the pirate ships heavy machine-guns rip through the helicopters shell like it’s made of tin-foil.  The helicopter lurches before nose-driving into the ground.  Everyone nearby backs up, with Ozul reversing as the helicopter falls onto its back, the rear rotor spinning ever closer towards the van, before meeting the front of the vehicle, slicing through the middle of the bonnet, burying itself in the engine and pinning Ozul's van to the ground.)

Bond
Well ...That wasn’t very funny.  Stay here.

(Bond leaves the vehicle and heads to the upside down chopper, hunting any survivors but really hoping to scavenge information from the dead.  The machine gunner was on the roof, Bond checked his neck for a pulse and, upon finding nothing begins to ransack the body, retrieving his mobile, and letter-headed paper with an address in Mogadishu, the same one Bond was given but written on Seles Engineering stationary.  Bond pockets the information and, after two similar inspections gets ready to rejoin Ozul and Domingo until he hears a ship horn going.  He leaves the wreckage and sees the ship leaving the harbour with Ozul and Domingo.  Bond runs after the ship but there’s no way he can catch it now.

Cut to:  EXT:  Pirate ship.  Night.  Ozul and Domingo look out at the still ocean as blackness cuts visibility to nothing.  Ozul is armed with a rifle and is staring vigilantly into the impenetrable blackness.)

Domingo
Why are they trying to kill us?

Ozul
I wish I knew.  You should get some rest.  I’ll stand guard.

(She reaches up and Ozul bends down so she can kiss him on the cheek.  She wanders through the dirty ship through to her quarters.  She opens the door to a room that’s the best it can be on a vessel like this, equipped with a double bed, a bedside dresser a stool in the corner and a chair ...With Bond sat in it, wearing his British Naval officer’s uniform.

Bond
Permission to come aboard, Ma’am?

Domingo
How the hell did you get on board?!

Bond
I hitched a lift.

Cut to:  INT:  Royal Navy Submarine.  The Comms officer turns to the submarine Commander.

Comms
Bond’s aboard, sir!

Commander
Very good.  Helm, resume previous course.

Helm
Aye, sir!

(Back to:  INT:  Domingo’s cabin.)

Domingo
You impudent swine!  I’ve got a good mind to summon the captain and have you flogged!

Bond
Then why don’t you ...Captain!

(Cut to:  INT:  Office.  Victor Ernst is feeding a mouse to a snake that swallows the poor creature whole.  He smiles at the mouse’s muffled screams.)

Victor Ernst
I do like snakes.  When they eat there’s no blood, no waste, no gore.  I hate mess.  I take it you have some more news for me.

(Two of Victor’s men enter the room.)

Victor’s Lieutenant
Two of the targets have been taken care of, sir.

Victor Ernst
A good day gets better.  What about the agents protecting them.

Victor’s Lieutenant
They ...They got away, sir.

Victor Ernst
I see.  What about Bond?

Victor’s Lieutenant
Well ...Somalia is still very much a warzone, sir, it’s ...We lost him ...And our men.

Victor Ernst
That man, that man, still thinks that one man can make a difference against a huge organisation.  He will pay for his distorted sense of altruism.  We do need to cut Gillam loose, get some men out there.

Cho
I’ll go.

(The man whose blows killed 002 appears wearing an eye-patch, still using his walking stick.)

Victor Ernst
Cho.  Are you sure you’re ready.

Cho
I am ready.

Victor Ernst
You deal with Gillam, oh, and Simmons?

Lieutenant
Yes sir.

Victor Ernst
Get Bond!

(Cut to: INT:  Domingo’s cabin.  Bond is still sat in the chair leaning forward while Domingo is on the bed, hostilities on hold, for now, as they are deep in conversation.)

Domingo
My father was a pirate captain.  That was his job ...You’re not saying anything.

Bond
I kill people for a living.  It’s not really my place to judge.

Domingo
Fair enough.  He’d bring us on board when the ship was on and show us the engines, how they worked, what they did, how you could strip them down and put then back together again.  Me and Ozul loved that.  Then the war came.  With the money earned he sent me overseas to get an education and Ozul with me for protection.  It was only a few weeks later that the fighting moved to the capital.  My father returned to shore to try and get my mother out.  She was killed and so was he, his crew were lucky to escape with their lives.  As my father’s eldest child they still treat me like I should be the Captain, hence the quarters, even though these days they make their living a lot more honestly.

Bond
Fishing?

Domingo
A little, haulage as well as general transportation.

Bond
Okay, all that I understand, but how is it that your brother became the recognised CEO of your company?

Domingo
My father wanted my brother to look after me while I was overseas.  When we started our engineering business and people came to see the boss they naturally assumed it was him.  However when they found out I was in charge they didn’t take us as seriously.  One time we let the charade continue when we were talking to a client we wound up getting the contract and so although it was my name on the company stationary and me making the decisions he was the fictional figurehead.  I guess because most men are engineers they only want to deal with a man.

Bond
Well, not in everything.

(Domingo smiles, she seems almost impressed by him until the door opens and her brother sees the two of them.)

Domingo
It’s okay, Ozul.  Mister Bond was just leaving, isn’t that right?

Bond
(Taking her lead) Yes, that’s right.

(Cut to:  EXT:  Heads with Diving masks and harpoon guns appear out of the water.)

Domingo (Voice-Over)
I’m sure the two of you can sort out my protection among yourselves, agreed?

Ozul (V-O)
(Sounding nothing like he wants to agree)  Agreed.

(Back to:  INT:  Domingo’s cabin.)

Bond
Good.  (Getting up)  I suggest I stand guard outside the cabin while you patrol the decks.

Ozul 
I’LL stand guard outside the cabin!

Bond
(To Domingo) He’s very protective of you isn’t he?  (She nods)  Oh before I go, I found this on one of the dead men in the chopper.  I take it that Seles Engineering is your company?

Domingo
It is, let me see.  

(She walks over to Bond who shows her the letter-headed paper with her address typed on.)

Back to:  EXT:  The invaders clamber up the ship and make it to the decks.

Bond (Voice-Over)
With your permission I’d like to get one of my colleagues to run through your computer files see if they can find out who printed the letter off.  Obviously that would be just Ozul and myself I wouldn’t want to put you in harms way.

Domingo (V-O)
I’m more than capable of taking...


Back to:  INT:  Cabin.

Ozul
Mister Bond is right.  There’s no sense you being in harms way, if there was it would be you guarding us.

(Bond smiles, starting to enjoy the company of the bickering siblings.)

(Cut to:  EXT:  Ship’s deck.  One of the invaders fires a shot at one of the men on the starboard side of the vessel who falls in the water.  On the port side one of the pirate’s hears this and when the harpoon enters his belly he fires a shot that alerts everyone, including...

Back to:  INT:  Cabin.  All three of them turn at the noise.)

Ozul
I’ll guard the decks.

Bond
I’ll come with you.

(As they look to the different ends of the corridors they see shadows moving, Ozul heads one way and Bond the other.  A man with a harpoon gun appears at the Ozul end and Ozul is able to gun him down before he has chance to move.  At Bond’s end a man appears and moves to fire.  As he does Bond darts to the side and ducks down.  The man makes the shot and the harpoon spins through the air, bouncing off the rotating door handle and just missing Bond’s head.  Bond responds in kind and kills the man with one shot.  Bond walks to the end of the corridor gun raised and every-time one of the harpoon wielding assassins appear he is despatched quicker than the last one.  Bond looks round the corner and seeing no more men coming down the stairs takes the opportunity to reload, as he does he hears what sounds like an animal  growl from on the decks.

Cut to:  EXT:  Ship’s deck.  Bond reaches the deck to se an extraordinary sight as Ozul is using one of the invaders’s like a hammer spinning them around, knocking away the man’s fellow mercenary’s, growling as he does creating a terrifying vision.  Bond runs over to help and from the upper deck sees a shadow appear as if someone is standing there with a harpoon gun.  Bond takes no chances and shoots through the floorboards behind Ozul.  Ozul looks back at Bond as the man falls from the upper deck, dead.)

Bond
You’re welcome.

(From behind Bond another shot is heard.  Bond turns quickly with his gun raised and another mercenary falls down dead.  Behind him Domingo stands with another rifle.)

Domingo
Likewise.

(From behind them the mercenaries appear with the remaining three crew members being held hostage.)

Mercenary Leader
THROW DOWN YOUR WEAPONS!

(All three of them reluctantly do so.)

(Cut to:  INT:  Engine room.  The mercenary’s lead Bond, Domingo and Ozul down the steps with the remaining crew members.  Lining up them down there to be killed.)

Mercenary Leader
Kill them, then scuttle the ship.  It’ll look like they were the victims of a pirate attack.  Then come back to the ship.

(The other mercenary nods.  Bond surreptitiously removes his pen from his pocket.  Domingo notices.)

Domingo
(Whispers)  What are you doing?

Bond
(Whispers) Showing there’s no school like the old school.  (aloud) Excuse me, Is there time to jot down a last request? (Clicks pen three times.)

(Mecenary leader walks over, snatches the pen and throw it behind his men and punches Bond in the stomach.  Bond buckles over, an unseen smile on his features.)

Mercenary Leader
You don’t get time for a last request.

Bond
I meant for YOU to write a last request.

(The pen explodes behind the mercenaries blasting a hole in the side of the ship, as it wobbles and the mercenary loses his balance, Bond grabs the mercenary’s pistol and shoots him.  As the water pours in behind the mercenary’s there is a scamble for the door to get out of the rapidly sinking ship.  As the mercenaries try to escape their path is blocked by Ozul who manages to hold them back while Bond gets Domingo and the crew out of the engine room.  Ozul keeps fighting, lost in the moment and the anger.)

Bond
OZUL, NOW!

(Ozul breaks out of his mood and starts to head for the door.  One of the last mercenary’s standing pops out of the water and aims their harpoon at the giant of a man but Bond doesn’t let him get the opportunity to make the shot and promptly downs him. 

Bond
COME ON!

(Ozul makes the stairs as the boat starts to list to port.

Cut to:  EXT:  Ship’s deck.  The crew, Bond, Domingo and Ozul all make their way towards a lifeboat, as they do, they hear the noise of an approaching boat opening fire on them.  Bond looks round and sees the crane.)

Bond
You get in the boat and get it lowered.  (Moves to go then remembers something.)  Here.  If I don’t make it, use this, dial zero zero seven and ask for tanner, he’ll know what to do.

Domingo
Where are you going?

Bond
To see what I can catch. 

Domingo
James.

(Bond looks back.)

Domingo
Be careful.

Bond
I’ll see what I can do.

(Bond crawls over to the crane, drawing the boat’s fire with the remaining bullets from the Walther, eventually getting in the crane.  Activating the crane on the heavily listing ship he starts to unreel the cable a little, so it swings out to the left, then hooks it back across to the right running it out to the maximum, the weight at the end of the crane almost yanking it from its decidedly unsecured moorings.  The weighted hook swings through the air and smashes through the glass of the attackers ship and hooks the wheel.  As the pirates ship lurches Bond pulls at the controls so it drags the attackers ship, jamming the controls so they just continue to tug the ship through the water and eventually down into the depths.  As the ship starts to fill with water on the starboard side and eventually the stern, the ship’s bow starts to rise out of the water and Bond runs up to the ship’s bow, grabbing at the rail before his feet slip from under him.  He look back and sees that his pirate allies have managed to get their life boat down as the pursuing tug is dragged into the waters beneath.  The bow gets propelled into the air and Bond pulls himself onto the rail and, as it begins to sink, takes three steps and dives the thirty metres into the cold black water, getting as close to the lifeboat as possible, swimming over and making his way into the tiny raft.)

Domingo
Are you all right?

Bond
Fine.  I’m sorry about your boat.

Domingo
(Looking at where the vessel disappeared)  It was part of my father, it was the last part of him.

Bond
(Pause) You must hate me right now.

Domingo
I don’t hate you ...I hate them.  You want to go back to Seles Engineering, fine, but I’m coming with you.  (She hands Bond the phone.)

Cut to:   INT:  Office.  Night time.  Q is on his laptop staring intently at the screen.  The phone goes but Q doesn’t move.

Q
International export, secure the line.

(There is a high pitched whine on the line, then a click.)

Phone (female voice)
Line is secure.

Q
Q here.

Bond (Voice-over)
Q, Bond.  I need a lift from the Indian ocean, three passports and the fastest transport possible to Seattle.

Q
I should be able to get the passports to you but why are you ringing me for a lift and air-tickets, that’s surely Tanner’s department.

Bond (V-O)
Usually yes, but I will need your skills with me in Seattle.

Q
I don’t suppose I have any say in this do I?

Bond (V-O)
No. 

Q
Balls.  I’ll see you in Seattle then.  Doesn’t it rain even worse in Seattle than it does in England?

Bond (V-O)
No.  I’m sure that’s just a myth.

(Cut to:  EXT:  Night.  Seattle-Tacoma International Airport.  Bond, Q, Domingo and Ozul are all stood outside the airport, suited and booted with black umbrella’s as the rain sheets down.  Q looks accusingly at Bond.)

Bond
Of course I could be wrong.

(Q shakes his head as all four of them get in a a cab and head off.)

(Cut to:  INT:  Hotel 1000.  Penthouse suite.  Bond is sat in a chair, suit jacket off while Q sleeps on the sofa.  Bond checks his Walther again and stares at the door.  In the other room Domingo and Ozul lie on their beds.  Ozul sleeps but Domingo is still awake.  Domingo wraps a dressing gown around her and goes back into the main room.)

Domingo
Are you all right?

Bond
Fine.  You?

(She shakes her head.)

Bond
Would you like a drink?

(She nods)

Bond
Allow me.

(Bond re-holsters his weapon and heads to the drinks cabinet to put together a concoction, whilst so doing, she walks over to the mini-bar to watch him work.)

Bond
So, Seles Engineering is your company but I still don’t know what exactly it is that your company does?

Domingo
We make air-conditioning units, usually for aircraft but we also produce them for business and residences also.

Bond
Air conditioning units?

Domingo
Yes.

Bond
For aircraft?

Domingo
Yes.  Nothing glamorous.

Bond
(Under-breath) serves me right for being late for meetings.  (Normal voice) The reason I ask is that someone wants you dead and while I have no doubt your Dad’s choice of career has made you many enemies, the fact that the paper came from your company tells me that this is what’s put you in harms way.

Domingo
Most of our clients are big international companies we don’t tend to deal with small parties or gangsters, the dodgiest person we’ve even produced product for was a hotel and casino in Las Vegas.

Bond
(Pause)  If you don’t know then you might have helped someone involuntarily.  Has anything happened over the last six to twelve months that was suspicious, anything at all?

Domingo
Nothing ...Not in the last six months at least.

Bond
...But before then?

Domingo
Our chief designer was killed in a car accident six months ago.

Bond
In my line of work nothing happens by accident.  Who was the man who replaced him?

Domingo
Jeremy Gillam, but surely he can’t be involved in this, he’s been working with us for two years.

Bond
I think he’s been working with someone else for a lot longer.  We’ll find out more tomorrow.  For now you’d better get some rest.  Here try this.

(Bond gives her the drink.  She takes a sip.)

Domingo
Nice.  What is it?

Bond
It's a secret.  It's something that’ll help you get some rest.

Domingo
What about you?

Bond
I’ll sleep when I know you’re safe.

Domingo
You’re a singular-minded man, Mister Bond.

Bond
When I want to be ...You can call me, James. 
  
Domingo
Okay.  Good night, James.

(She gets up to walk to back to her bedroom.)

Bond
Goodnight, Miss Seles.

Domingo
Oh, you can call me Domingo

Bond
Good night, Domingo.

(She closes the door with a smile.  As soon as the door closes his smile fades and is replaced by a vigilant stare at the main entrance to their hotel room, his eyes fixed and his senses honed on nothing else, even Q’s snoring not swerving his attention.

Cut to:  EXT:  Seles Engineering.  An Aston Martin pulls up, the four-door Rapide and Bond, Ozul, Domingo and Q all emerge in front of Seles Engineering’s dedicated office building, behind which a large factory area sits, acting as the engine to the entire operation.




Cut to:  INT:  Seles Engineering Company lobby.  The four of them walk into the building and head straight through reception.  Ozul has changed his golden teeth for white porcelain caps.  The receptionist smiles politely as she sees him.)

Receptionist 
Good morning, Mister Seles.

Ozul
Good Morning.

(The pattern is repeated throughout the building with Ozul being focussed but polite as he walks through to the main office, the other three remaining silent and impassive.  The pattern however changes dramatically when a balding, black-haired, bespectacled man sees them, drops his papers and gulps noticeably when he sees Ozul and Domingo.)

Gillam
Sir?  Sir ...You’re back?  This ...This is ...This is great news, sir.  Very good news, sir!

Bond
(Under-breath to Domingo)  Gillam?

Domingo
(Under-breath to Bond)  Uh-huh.

(All four of them walk into Domingo’s office, knowing who the weak link is.  While Bond stares out through the glass at the increasingly nervous Gillam, Ozul, Domingo and Q all set themselves up into their respective roles without any orders from Bond, who does not notice this while staring intently at Seles Engineering’s insidious Mole.)

Bond
Q can you hack into his...

Q
(Already having two laptops opened and connected to Domingo’s main computer.) ...Computer.  I’m already doing it ...And I’m already in.

Bond
Good, and Ozul can you...

Ozul
Lara?  It’s Mister Domingo.  Can you send Mister Gillam to my office, please.

(Bond watches as Gillam smartens himself down and heads over to the office.  He enters and sweat is visible on his brow.  The three others in the office are, like Bond, all stony-faced.)

Ozul
Mister Gillam, please sit.

(Gillam does so in an elegant Marcel Breuer Wassily model B3 tubular chair.)

Gillam
So, you’re ...You’re both, you’re both back.  This is good, this is ...This is all good.  Where did you go by the way?

Bond
You know where they went, Gillam.  You tipped off your organisation to their whereabouts so they could be killed, why?

Gillam
I think, NO!  I don’t know where you’re getting this info from but clearly it’s ...It’s clearly wrong.

Q
It’s actually from your computer.  I’m looking at the letter right now.

(Q spins the laptop around to reveal the word document that Gillam wrote)

Gillam
Look, it’s not what you think.  They’ve kidnapped my daughter.  I didn’t know that they would...

Q
You don’t have a daughter ...According to your Facebook page you're single, unmarried, interested in women, wrestling and cycling.

Bond
We don’t have time for this. We know you’re working for QUANTUM now you can either tell us here or in a far more persuasive location; it’s your choice.

Gillam
(Stops looking nervous and starts to look smug.)  You got me.  Yes I do work for Quantum and yes, I do so willingly.  But it doesn’t matter, look I'm not being rude when I say this but ...You’re all dead, well, unless you’re in the twenty-eight point five seven percent but if not then you’re finished!  Now I’m smart, I’m probably the smartest one in this room because unlike you guys I picked the winning side.  You should have done to.

(Gillam’s phone buzzes and he removes it, unlocks the screen to be greeted with the message “DUCK!”  Behind him Bond also sees the message.)

Bond
EVERYBODY DOWN!

(The roof explodes and a rope ladder appears.  Cho slides down one of the ropes swinging like a monkey, he brings up his stick and and slides it apart to reveal two 18 inch blades, Cho immediately recognises the threat of Bond and goes at him with the blades.  Bond gets out his Walther which gets knocked to the corner of the room.  Bond rolls and picks up another Marcel Breuer chair, using its tubing and straps to counter the blows.  Ozul brings his machete out from his suit and hurls it at the small, but fiendishly quick assassin who parries the knife away with one of his blades.  Bond sees an opportunity and thrusts the chair at the man and succeeds in delivering a blow to Cho's face, Bond tries again but this time the attempt is parried.  Cho looks annoyed that Bond has the audacity to land a blow and, as Ozul rounds the table, his machete back in his hand, Cho starts to launch a number of blows at Bond that bounce off the chairs tubing sending sparks flying through the air, Ozul aims a blow at Cho who parries and has a swing back at the giant man, switching his attention between the two.  As Bond and Ozul’s attention is taken by Cho, three men repel down from the helicopter, dressed in black wearing pilot helmets sub-machine guns draped over their shoulders, as they attempt to speedily unhook their wires three shots ring out, the bullets shattering their visors and killing them instantly.  Q looks over and sees Domingo stood in perfect shooting posture.)

Domingo
I learnt a lot from my Dad.

(Cho manages to get both Bond and Ozul on the defensive as he launches another wave of blow at both men, the speed of the attacks and changing of positioning meaning Domingo cannot get a shot off.   Meanwhile Gillam is trying to climb up the rope ladder to escape, Cho sees this and allows his knife to get lodged within the straps and force Bond over, as Ozul moves to try to make a killing stroke Cho throws his other knife towards him but he easily has time to side-step the spinning blade, it’s only when Ozul draws his attention back to where Cho was he realises that Cho has ran around him and is already climbing up Ozul to get further up the rapidly departing rope ladder.)

Bond
GUN!

(Domingo throws his pistol over and Bond catches it, the ladder is now being pulled out of the room.)

Bond
Ozul, can you throw me?

(Ozul doesn’t even reply, he just grabs Bond and hurls him through the air.  Bond grabs hold of the second to last rung as the ladder rises even further.  Cho is now above Gillam and Bond watches as the smaller man flicks a pair of handcuffs on Gillam and smiles.  Bond realises what the plan is ...To drop Gillam to his death once they reach an appropriate height.  Cho continues to climb and Bond has to make a judgement ...Kill the man and hopefully make the climb up the ladder or halt the copter.  Bond aims and fires, puncturing the fuel tank as Cho climbs inside, Bond lets go as the helicopter increases its ascent and manages to land on his feet on a section of roof remaining.  He roles and watches as Cho makes it into the copter and starts to unhook the rope ladder.  Bond doesn’t wait to see how Gillam’s short sky-ride will end and jumps back down into the office and heads to the door.)

Domingo
Where are you going?

Bond
To catch a ride.

(Bond runs out of the building into the awaiting Rapide slots the key inside and burns away from Seles Engineering, one eye on the road swerving round traffic at break-neck speed while keeping one eye on the ever-stalling helicopter that struggled in an increasingly ominous sky.  Bond dives through traffic and picks up two motorcycle cops, he darts through the traffic and sees they’re still on his tail, he shakes his head knowing he cannot worry about them now and looks back at the helicopter which is approximately three miles away, smoke now starting to appear from its engines as it seems to be running now on fumes only as it starts to descend.  Bond increases his speed and whips through traffic as he senses there is a chance he can catch the evasive assassin.

Cut to:  EXT/INT:  Helicopter.  In the copter Cho watches developments as the control panel flashes and beeps disapprovingly.  As it moves ever nearer the ground Cho looks for a way out.  As they fly over a field where electricity pylons are blighting the landscape, Cho  decides to make a break and jumps from the ever-lowering chopper and onto a pylon, swinging like a chimp down the metal structure until he reaches terra-firma.  Cho watches as the helicopter sinks ever-lower towards the power cables, the blades lashing through the cables pulling the pylons over as the blades whirr, the current fizzes through the metal helicopter creating what looks like a little ball of lightning before it dramatically explodes.  Cho hobbles for cover, looking decidedly annoyed at the inconvenience as he limps away with his life.

Cut to:  INT:  Aston-Martin Rapide.  Bond sees the plume of smoke after what looked like a lightning strike in a nearby field.  Bond floors it through some minor roads and arrives to see the pylons totally ripped apart and the burning wreckage of Cho’s escape vehicle smoldering vehemently in between what was left of the metal structures.  Bond gets out of the vehicle and stares at the wreckage knowing that any leads or info would be lost.  The camera closes-in on Bond’s face as he puts his hands behind his head, a studious look on his face as the two cops who were following him move his arms to arrest him, his face remains unconcerned as one reads him his Miranda rights and the the other comments on how they were able to keep up.

Cut to:  INT:  Police station.  Q signs Bond out and they leave safe in the knowledge that here at least they are free to talk.)

Q
So I copied the hard drive and went through the emails, although that was made harder by the power-cut you caused.

Bond
I hardly think that was anything I could control.  Did you find anything of interest?

Q
There was a glut of traffic from an unnamed IP address but nothing with any detail on, it was all rather unspecific.

Bond
Was that it?

Q
Oh no there was one other thing.

Cut to:  EXT:  Outside police station.  Q and Bond walk over to the waiting Aston-Martin Rapide.

Q
Gillam had been invited to a charity theatre performance with a before and after-show party.  I decided to cross-reference the party’s guest list and looking at the other guests he doesn’t seem to belong there.  There’s a lot of politicians, police big-wigs as well as some very, VERY high-flying businessmen.  Hard to see how an engineering designer would get a ticket unless...

Bond
...Unless it’s a front.  Could you get me...

...An invite?  I already thought of that and manipulated the guest list to get three, one for you, Domingo and Ozul. 

Bond
When is the party?

Q
Tomorrow night.  Time enough for you to pick yourself a nice outfit.

(Cut to:  INT:  Theatre Augustus.  Adjacent to the theatre is a grand dining room and banquet hall that houses the honoured guests for the charity performance.  Within the halls the familiar faces from the opening scene are milling around with established political figures, business heads and movie stars.  In the background talking things over with Bill Gates is Victor Ernst, however, as soon as he sees Bond with Domingo and Ozul he excuses himself and comes over.)

Victor Ernst
Good evening although to be honest I’m not exactly sure I’ve met any of you before.

Ozul
I am Domingo Seles of Seles Engineering, this is my personal assistant, Miss Ozul and this is my accountant, Mister James.

(Bond stands at the side his glasses disguise an almost sarcastic attempt at subterfuge.)

Bond
It’s a pleasure to meet you.

Victor Ernst
Likewise but I thought that your Mister Gillam was supposed to be attending? (said with a faint smile like he knows he’s already dead.)

Bond
Yes, sadly he had to drop out.  Excuse me. (Bond summons a waiter and passes out four glasses.)

Victor Ernst
His loss, our gain, cheers.

Bond, Domingo and Ozul
Cheers.




(They all take a drink)

Bond
This is a good turnout and for such a worthy cause.

Victor Ernst
You know of the work of the HPCO, Mister James?

Bond
Yes.  The Habitat Protection and Conservation Organisation is dedicated to the preserving and even reclaiming land for endangered species.  It’s been going for approximately twelve years and has seen numerous successes over that time, particularly in the promotion of renewable forest programs.

Victor Ernst
How well informed you are ...For an accountant.  I always thought they were unimaginative fops afraid of spending money unless it was on them of course.

Bond
Oh we are, but even we watch the news.

Victor Ernst
Then you’ll know how hard we all work to make sure that our wildlife treasures become anything but buried.  With the right help we will make sure that there is a natural world to enjoy for years to come, long after you, or I, am gone,

Bond
Obviously that won’t be for many years yet, for some of us.

Victor Ernst
Will it?  The dinosaurs demise is STILL largely unknown.  Is it not possible that their own eventual failure was actually because of their own success in decimating the food supply?  Are we not doing anything different?  History is a wonderful teacher if you can work out the lessons she is providing.

Domingo
I thought the dinosaurs was pre-history?

Victor Ernst
(Laughs) Touche, Miss Ozul.  Allow me to rephrase that, the past is a wonderful teacher ...Better?

(Domingo nods approvingly.)

Ozul
Thank you for your hospitality, Mister Ernst.

Victor Ernst
Thank you for coming, Mister Seles, Miss Ozul ...Mister James (said knowingly.)

(Victor Ernst leaves the three of them to ponder their conversation.)

Ozul
He knows something.

Bond
No doubt.

Domingo
We should get him alone and chop pieces off until whatever’s left talks.

(Bond and Ozul look at Domingo in surprise.)

Domingo
I’m a pirate’s daughter what did you expect?

Bond
There are easier ways to find information from someone.  I want you two to stay in plain sight at all times, no quiet corridors or small rooms and no matter who tries to summon you anywhere else in the building ignore them.

Ozul
What about you?

Bond
If I’m not out in five minutes get in the surveillance vehicle outside as soon as possible as it won’t be safe.

Domingo
Good luck, James.

Bond
You to.

(Bond follows Victor Ernst through the crowd and watches him disappear down a corridor, as soon as he walks a few feet down to follow him a number of shadows fall behind him.  Bond turns to look and three armed, hired-goons block his path along with Ernst's main lieutenant.  Bond smiles at them and points down the corridor.  They nod humorlessly and Bond heads down to the room Ernst entered only moments before.  Inside the room there are various gaming tables.  Victor Ernst is sat at the backgammon table.  Four more gun-for-hire types are in the room already and they are joined by the three who trapped Bond.)

Victor Ernst
Mister Bond, I can’t say it’s a pleasure to meet you, but, I’m sure you feel the same way about me.

Bond
You noticed.

Victor Ernst
You think your emotions are guarded but you wear your contempt for others like lesser men wear their old school ties.

Bond
I suppose you’d know all about lesser men.

Victor Ernst
Oh that’s a low blow, Mister Bond.  Are you still smarting from yesterday morning?  You know I did not have you pegged as being such a bad loser.

Bond
That’s because usually I’m such a superb victor.

Victor Ernst
Well that’s something we have in common.  What’s your game, Mister Bond; roulette, poker, backgammon, baccarat?

Bond
I’m not really in a playful mood.

Victor Ernst
(Mood changes) That makes two of us.  You know I’m offended you and your friends had the gaul to show up tonight.

(Cut to:  INT:  Back of van.  Q is listening intently.)

Victor Ernst (Voice-Over)
...Including you MI6 friends in the back of the van.

(Cut to:  EXT:  Van in street.  It’s an overly large van with an overly large cheery cleaning logo on the side.)

Victor Ernst (V-O)
Don’t you intelligence types use anything except cleaning and flower companies?

(Back to:  INT:  Gaming room.)

Bond
I think you’re the first person to complain about that.

Victor Ernst
Shame you won’t be the one to report it.  You won’t be leaving this building alive, Mister Bond.  Sure you won’t have one game before then.  I figured the odds in this room are stacked enough in my favour for me to be able to play fair.

(Bond studies all the hired-guns for a moment.)

Bond
I’d give you about evens on that.  (Bond takes pleasure in Ernst’s annoyed look.) Backgammon you say? (Bond sits at the board.)




(Cut to:  INT:  Banquet Hall.  Ozul and Domingo look nervous.  Domingo looks at her watch and shakes her head.)

Ozul
He’s not back.  We should leave.

Domingo
(Pause.)  Agreed.  Sticking around is for suckers.  Let’s go.

(Domingo and Ozul start to walk towards the exit but they are observed and one of Ernst’s goons starts to text Victor.

Back to:  INT:  Gaming room.  Ernst checks his phone and smiles while he talks to Bond.)

Victor Ernst
Do you know why I like Backgammon, Mister Bond?

Bond
No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me anyway.

(Back to:  INT:  Banquet Hall.  Ozul and Domingo are moving through the crowd trying to get to an exit.  Behind them more of Ernst’s hired-goons follow at a discreet distance.)

Victor Ernst (Voice-Over)
It’s because it’s all about numbers and balance.  There is the smallest element of chance involved but usually those who use the numbers wisely will always see the board tip to their advantage.

(Cut to:  EXT:  Ozul and Domingo leave the building and dart behind the surveillance van across the street out-of-sight.  Ernst’s men follow them and when they get to the van, count to three and then pull the door.  Inside they see nobody in the van except a box full of explosives and taped behind the door a hand-grenade, swinging from a string on the door is the grenade’s pin.  

Too late they realise they’ve been had as the van explodes dramatically, while, in an alleyway off the main road, Ozul and Domingo enter a much smaller van with the standard flower company logo on the side.

Back to:  INT:  Gaming room.  The explosion catches everyone off guard.  Bond launches an elbow to the man’s ribs to his right and then twists to deliver a crunching blow to the man on the left, breaking his nose, the other men start to remove their guns when...)

Victor Ernst
NO!  NO BLOOD!

(Bond smiles as they all try to take him down and he is able to use their numbers and against then as he uses his knees, elbows, fists and fingers to inflict all manner of painful injuries.  He has dispensed with four of the guns for hire and is in the zone where inflicting the most pain while suffering the least damage is almost a game to him until the thick end a croupier’s chip stick cracks him across the back of the skull, splitting the stick in two and sending Bond to slumber.  As he falls we see Victor behind him with what is left of the stick.)

Victor Ernst
(Trying hard not to gag at the sight of blood.)  Eurgh!  Take that man to the outskirts and just ...Just put a bullet in his head, just kill him!

Lieutenant
What about his friends, sir?

Victor Ernst
Find them ...Same treatment.

Lieutenant
Yes sir.

(Cut to:  INT:  Van.  Q is in the passenger seat while another member of MI6 drives.  Ozul and Domingo are behind the seats trying to find out what is happening.)

Ozul
If Mister Bond has been captured shouldn’t we try and assist him?

Q
No.  If a 00 agent is captured it’s up to them to use their wits and invention or one of my inventions to get out of a situation.  If they can’t do that then they’re probably shouldn’t be 00’s any more.

Domingo
We’re just going to leave him?

Q
Yes.  The assignment for Bond was all about keeping you safe, if we go back then we won’t really be doing that will we?

(As Q says this four black cars surround the flower van, two dart in front of the vehicle and slam on the brakes and two dart behind and jam the vehicle in.  As men wearing dark suits and even darker moods emerge from the vehicles it appears that time has finally caught up with Ozul and Domingo.

Cut to:  INT:  Back of a black van.  There are 3 hired goons sitting either side of Bond who is handcuffed and on the floor with a sack-cloth bag on his head, his hands are hand-cuffed but he’s rolling something intently between his fingers.  In the front passenger seat Ernst’s main lieutenant sits wearing a determined look on his face.)

Lieutenant
Here will suffice.

(The van pulls up.)

(Cut to:  EXT:  Van.  Tree lined road in middle of nowhere.  They pull Bond out of the vehicle and drag him on his knees in front of the lieutenant who places a supressor on a smith and wesson and aims it on the left side of Bond’s head.)

Lieutenant
Mister Ernst says you may like to know that this will also be the fate of your friends.

Bond
Tell him I said he can go to hell.

Lieutenant
Goodbye, Mister Bond.

(The lieutenant shoots, the bag bursts and blood dribbles down the side of the bag as Bond slips down to the floor dead.  The lieutenant and the goons get back in the van and drive off leaving Bond’s corpse by the side of the road.  After a few seconds another car drives up and a man emerges, walking up to the corpse, gun in hand.  The camera pans up and the black beard and distinctive scowl tells us instantly who it is.)

Man
You know I’m getting real tired of saving your ass.

(Bond springs the cuffs and removes the bag from his head)

Bond
What the (Recognises who it is.) ...Felix.  You? ...Saving my ass? I could easily have escaped from there if your man hadn’t left his CIA ring in my hands to let me know there was a mole in Ernst’s organisation.

Felix
Well, seemed like the least we could do.  Last thing we need is any more friendly fire incidents.

Bond
What about Ozul and Domingo?

Felix
Already got them with us, Q’s looking over your man Gillam’s designs trying to figure why they were so keen to have him work for Seles Engineering.

End of part one.

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