THE TOP TEN SONGS THAT SHOULD HAVE GOT TO NUMBER ONE

I’m sure everyone at some stage in their lives, even those whose music tastes are, shall we see, eccentric, get seduced by a pop song, a piece of music so mainstream that they feel, perhaps, embarrassed for liking it, but then, BUT THEN, the unthinkable happens and said piece of music incredibly, perhaps unjustifiably, doesn’t make it to the top spot.  It seems almost unthinkable that this could happen but happen it does.  Sometimes the act in question sinks without trace unable to scale such heights again and other times they get a sympathy vote with their next single and make it to the top with what is largely an inferior song, whatever happens though it really can’t take away the injustice of a class or even a classic song getting to the top spot, SO, with that in mind here are my top ten classic songs that should have made number one but didn’t. 

ps.  Listen with headphones on to really appreciate.

10 - THE BEATLES - PLEASE PLEASE ME.  The ultimate boy-band’s second single and one of the big bees in my bonnet.  A metaphor for oral sex? ...You decide, but certainly one of the sexiest songs ever produced by a mainstream outfit at this time when one considers the lyrics.  This was their second release before they had a run of eleven consecutive number ones in a row, a number of them million sellers, but for me this is probably their smartest lyric from that time that reflected John Lennon’s love of clever lyrics and wordplay that would continue throughout his time with the Beatles.  

9 - ULTRAVOX - VIENNA.  Perhaps the most famous nearly a number one song ever made, held back from the top spot by Joe Dolce’s Musical Theatre with Shaddap you face.  Since then it’s been popularly bandied about on every nostalgic show ever since about how unjust it was.  To some degree I agree that it wasn’t necessarily proper that such a song held it from the top spot but I think their are other songs who deserve to be higher on the list.

8 - BEE GEES - HOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE.  The Bee Gees biggest seller in the UK (recorded by them) but amazingly only got to number four in the chart.  It has since been at number one recorded by Take That and is probably most people’s favourite Bee Gees track.  The love song from the epic disco soundtrack that was “SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER” (Even I have a copy) and on a record that holds so many great songs this still manages to be one of the stand out tracks.  Making number eight and in a top ten this awesome is no mean feat in itself.

7 - QUEEN - WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS.  In the seventies and eighties Queen seemed to hit the number 2 spot with great songs so often that it wasn’t even funny.  This little doozy of a track that had been adopted by sports teams the world over and is one of those songs that is guaranteed to get a crowd singing along to the anthemic chorus the world over.  Stopped from getting to the number one spot by those Swedish songsters ABBA with “NAME OF THE GAME” it secures it’s place on my top ten of should-have-beens.  I always wished that, upon Freddie’s death, they had released it as part of an EP along with “BOHEMIAN” and “DAYS OF”.  Ah well.   

6 - TAKE THAT - THE FLOOD.  Standing, on the edge of forever, and sadly this will be standing at the edge of forever, forever as it never managed to hit the top spot.  While Progress dominated the album charts the single could only peak at number 2, being held off the top spot by Rihanna’s “ONLY GIRL IN THE WORLD” (I think now on reflection that probably seems stupid but we’re gonna meet a few more of those in the next paragraphs.)  An outstanding single that gets the heart-racing and even though the lyrics are utter nonsense will probably still have everyone singing along to it, rather than channel-hopping when Rihanna starts warbling out ONLY GIRL IN THE WORLD.  Whatever, Rihanna, whatever.

5 -  QUEEN - DON’T STOP ME NOW.  Perhaps the ultimate feel good song as so ably demonstrated by the UK’s medal winning team in the recent video, this was one of those songs that definitely classes as being unappreciated at the time, only managed to stumble up to number 9 in the UK charts (and number 86 in America) it has since become one of Queen’s most popular songs and one that like “WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS” has the ability to get everyone singing along.  No doubt helped by it’s positioning on Queens legendary “GREATEST HITS” album (It’s track 7 which seems to be many Albums high points ...Have a flick though your collection, check it out) it is finally regarded as the great song that it should be.  

4 - PHIL COLLINS - AGAINST ALL ODDS (TAKE A LOOK AT ME NOW).  Phil Collins?  You’re having a fucking giraffe aren’t you?  Hear me out though.  Around this time Collins was flying with Genesis after Peter Gabriel had left and was starting to make some serious headway as an solo artist, especially in the album charts with “FACE VALUE” and “HELLO, I MUST BE GOING” before eventually going massive with “NO JACKET REQUIRED” but in order to get to that stage he needed a big song, and this was it.  From the film AGAINST ALL ODDS which most people have never seen but this is what people remember, the song, sang with such passion and emotion that it drags you into the drama of it, but really it only getting to number 2 isn’t the big injustice.  No, it’s the fact that it has since gone to the top spot sung by WESTLIFE and MARIAH CAREY ...And when you hear that version you finally understand just how good the original version was.

3 - A-HA - TAKE ON ME - This for me is where this list all begins.  True I probably liked songs before that had failed to make it to the number one slot, but this is the first time I was really outraged by it.  A-Ha came out of nowhere in 1985 with a fast-paced synthi-pop style and a pop video that once seen was always remembered.  The song was one that I instantly fell in love with as a pubescent teenager and was popular with everyone I knew.  It was a song that was destined for number one and across the world it was grabbing and holding onto the number one spot with a vengeance, that is, everywhere except the UK.  Unfortunately the UK had fallen in the grip of a love of love affair with “THE POWER OF LOVE” by JENNIFER RUSH, a million-selling operatic monster that still to this day I cannot bear to listen to.  A song that seemed to be bought by Dad’s for Mum’s everywhere even though they couldn’t stand it themselves.  A truly awful song that stopped one of my favourite songs from making the deserved top spot.  For that I can never forgive "THE POWER OF LOVE" but still in spite of that obvious injustice it only makes it to number 3 on my list.    

2..  COLDPLAY - SPEED OF SOUND.  How long before I get in, before it starts before I begin?  Well about now actually.  Coldplay are very much marmite of music, and no, not because their songs are about yeast extract but because you either like them or you don’t, myself, I obviously fit into the pro-marmite camp and after a number of top ten hits they came out with the album "X AND Y" (I don’t personally think it’s their best album and prefer "VIVA LA VIDA", myself) and the stand-out, or rather outstanding, first single “SPEED OF SOUND”.  It was a big song, brash bold, epic feeling and when it was released it was like it was the song they had always wanted to create to secure their first number one and it should have been if not for the same thing that had done in Ultravox years earlier ...The novelty anomaly.  CRAZY FROG “AXEL F” is so bad it makes “SHADDUP YOU FACE” seem like “BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY” such is its awfulness.  If you do your best work and are beaten there is no shame in it, but to be beaten by something as awful as CRAZY FROG is, well, just awful.

So, if COLDPLAY only made number 2 (again) then what could possibly have made number one?  Well it’s an all-time classic written in an inspired frame of mind.  It is the one and only...

1 - THE BEACH BOYS - GOD ONLY KNOWS.  I may not always love you, but long as there are stars above you.  Oh my God, where do you start singing the praises of this masterful amazing song that Paul McCartney himself hailed as the greatest song of all time?  From THE BEACH BOYS massive album PET SOUNDS written by Brian Wilson after he listened to THE BEATLES album RUBBER SOUL (Probably the best Beatles Album of the lot in my opinion) this was the second single which did dismally in the charts in the US but here in the UK peaked at number 2, how it only managed to get there I don’t know as the last sixty seconds of the record are some of the most divine in the history of recorded music and trust me that is no mean understatement.  For me, much as I love “SPEED OF SOUND”, there can be only one and it is THE BEACH BOYS who take the top spot for having recorded the greatest song never to make it to number one in the UK.

Thanks for listening

For those of you interested my next book DEATH OF CELEBRITY will be available soon, although it will probably be September/October time.  See you soon.

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