THE THERAPEUTIC JOY OF WRITING BOND PART 2.
So here is the second part of my Herculean project to write a James Bond script as I’m breaking the project down into three bite-sized chunks (Big-bites admittedly.)
Enjoy.
This story is just for fun and any copyright infringement is purely coincidental.
THE DEADLIEST PREY PART 2
(Cut to: INT: Hotel. Bond, Q, Ozul and Domingo re-enter the hotel’s huge lobby.)
Domingo
Are you sure it’s entirely necessary for us to go to all this trouble for a party? I have party dresses.
Bond
I’m sure you do but if we’re getting outfits for you and Ozul from your places then we could wind up in a bottle-neck. It’s a security issue, keeps us out in public and will make your enemies think twice while they lick their wounds.
Domingo
I guess.
Ozul
Well I don’t like that your organisation thinks that just one man is sufficient protection for my sister! No offence, Mr Q.
Q
It’s just Q really and don’t worry I’m more tech support, I wouldn’t be very useful in a fight.
Bond
Well thankfully, Ozul, I’m not alone. (Ozul looks around to try and figure out who is with them.) I have you to help, don’t I?
(Bond smiles, Ozul reluctantly nods his head. They walk into the hotel clothes store.)
Bond
Good afternoon, I’m looking for two dinner jackets for myself and my friend here and an evening dress for the lady.
Shop Assistant
Certainly, sir, anything else?
Bond
Sadly, yes. We need the store to ourselves ...Security reasons, for say, the next hour. Would this sum guarantee we could do that? (Bond writes down a figure and hands it over to the assistant who’s eyes go wide as she gulps and looks at Bond astonished.)
Shop Assistant
Yes, sir, this will be more than acceptable. (She goes over to the door, closes it and turns around the sign.)
Q
So this is what you get up to with your expense account?
Bond
Our bosses do far worse with theirs. Come on.
(Cut to: INT: Shop. Q is sat down typing on his laptop while Bond is stood by the door looking out at those coming and going into the hotel. In the background Domingo and Ozul are trying on outfits.)
Q
We need smart men like you these days ...Intelligence work isn’t like it used to be ...It’s not all guns and garroting anymore. Stupid university recruiting officer.
(Bond smiles.)
Bond
Are you not enjoying your sojourn into the field, Q?
Q
No, niet, nada, nein, non.
Bond
A simple no would’ve sufficed. (Bond’s attention is momentarily drawn by a leather jacket wearing couple walking in who turn and are revealed to be nothing more than fat cheerful tourists. As Q pounds the keys Bond becomes interested, but doesn’t leave his post.) What are you looking at?
Q
I’m going over Gillam’s designs. He’s done quite a bit of work for Seles but the main cut and thrust seems to be work for the Cleanair 270 Coach-Class.
Bond
They’re not in operation yet, are they?
Q
No, four days time.
Bond
It can’t be explosives.
Q
No, blowing up a few planes wouldn’t add up to the twenty-eight point five seven figure that Gillam mentioned would it?
Bond
“You’re finished unless you’re in the twenty-eight point five seven percent”.
Q
That’s been on your mind as well?
Bond
As well as looking out for ...(Bond turns to see Domingo being helped into a backless evening gown.) ...Them.
Q
(Also looking back.) Them or her?
Bond
Both. She is Domingo, everyone thinks he is Domingo, therefore I have to cover both of them.
Q
(Going back to laptop.) Really?
Bond
Maybe less so him. He’s a big guy, he can take care of himself.
(Q smiles as he continues to type.)
Bond
(Continues) Anything else odd about Gillam’s designs?
Q
Nope, standard, nothing particularly ...Alarming.
Bond
(His eyes back scanning the hotel) You paused? What is it?
Q
The filter on the air-con unit is electric as a way of cleaning the air supply from impurities.
Bond
That’s uncommon?
Q
I don’t know of anyone else who’s doing it.
Bond
(Pause as thinks) Email London, tell them to put a halt on the launch of the aircraft and why?
Q
I’m all over it.
Bond
(Looking back momentarily at Domingo removing her dress in a mirror.) So am I.
(Cut to: INT: Theatre Augustus. Adjacent to the theatre is a grand dining room and banquet hall that houses the honoured guests for the charity performance. Within the halls the familiar faces from the opening scene are milling around with established political figures, business heads and movie stars. In the background talking things over with Bill Gates is Victor Ernst and behind him Nixon Albrecht who's dememanour becomes decidedly prickly when he sees Bond, however, as soon as Nixon sees Bond with Domingo and Ozul he mentions this to Ernst who then excuses himself and they both head over.)
Victor Ernst
Good evening although to be honest I’m not exactly sure I’ve met any of you before.
Ozul
I am Domingo Seles of Seles Engineering, this is my personal assistant, Miss Ozul and this is my accountant, Mister James.
(Bond stands at the side his glasses disguise an almost sarcastic attempt at subterfuge.)
Bond
It’s a pleasure to meet you.
Nixon Albrecht
I thought that your Mister Gillam was supposed to be attending? (said with a faint smile like he knows he’s already dead.)
Bond
Yes, sadly he had to drop out. Excuse me. (Bond summons a waiter and passes out four glasses, much to Nixon's annoyance.)
Victor Ernst
His loss, our gain, cheers.
Bond, Domingo and Ozul
Cheers.
Bond
Is that why you’re in town, Mister Ernst?
Victor Ernst
You could say that. A zoo went under in ...Tragic circumstances. I stepped in bought the livestock so they can be reintroduced back into the wild, the rest can go to my own private menagerie.
(Cut to: INT: Banquet Hall. Ozul and Domingo look nervous. Domingo looks at her watch and shakes her head.)
Ozul
He’s not back. We should leave.
Domingo
(Pause.) Agreed. Sticking around is for suckers. Let’s go.
(Domingo and Ozul start to walk towards the exit but they are observed and one of Ernst’s goons starts to text Victor.
Back to: INT: Gaming room. Both men start to play while Bond studies his opponents unusual physiognomy.)
Bond
Those marks on your arm are curious. Not going to keel over during the game are you?
Victor Ernst
Not likely. That's taken care of. NNNGGGHH!
(The pulsing veins quiet and normality returns to Ernst's features.)
Ernst
I'm fine thank you, Nixon.
Bond
Care to elaborate?
Victor Ernst
It’s Marethalor’s syndrome, a severe brain degenerative disease. It's trying to close down the synaptic links that control my bodily functions. It's a despicable disease as it closes down your body while higher functions remain in tact, eventually causing agonising organ failure and death. It is fortunate for me that I work in an industry that can help.
(Ernst phone buzzes, he checks his phone and smiles while he continues to talk to Bond.)
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Victor Ernst
Do you know why I like Backgammon, Mister Bond?
Bond
No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me anyway.
(Back to: INT: Banquet Hall. Ozul and Domingo are moving through the crowd trying to get to an exit. Behind them more of Ernst’s hired-goons follow at a discreet distance.)
Victor Ernst (Voice-Over)
It’s because it’s all about numbers and balance. There is the smallest element of chance involved but usually those who use the numbers wisely will always see the board tip to their advantage.
(Cut to: EXT: Ozul and Domingo leave the building and dart behind the surveillance van across the street out-of-sight. Ernst’s men follow them and when they get to the van, count out to three and then pull the door. Inside they see nobody in the van except a box full of explosives and taped behind the door a hand-grenade, swinging from a string on the opposite door is the grenade’s pin.
Too late they realise they’ve been had as the van explodes dramatically, while, in an alleyway off the main road, Ozul and Domingo enter a much smaller van with the standard flower company logo on the side.
(They all take a drink)
Bond
This is a good turnout and for such a worthy cause.
Victor Ernst
You know of the work of the HPCO, Mister James?
Bond
Yes. The Habitat Protection and Conservation Organisation is dedicated to the preserving and even reclaiming land for endangered species. It’s been going for approximately twelve years and has seen numerous successes over that time, particularly in the promotion of renewable forest programs.
Victor Ernst
How well informed you are ...For an accountant. I always thought they were unimaginative fops afraid of spending money unless it was on themselves of course.
Bond
Oh we are, but even we watch the news.
Victor Ernst
Then you’ll know how hard we all work to make sure that our wildlife treasures become anything but buried. With the right help we will make sure that there is a natural world to enjoy for years to come, long after you, or I, am gone.
Bond
Obviously that won’t be for many years yet, for some of us.
Victor Ernst
Will it? The dinosaurs demise is STILL being debated eveb now, it seems the hardest thing for us to accept is to know what we don't know. Is it not possible that their own eventual failure was actually because of their own success in decimating the food supply? Are we not doing anything different? History is a wonderful teacher if you can work out the lessons she is providing.
Domingo
I thought the dinosaurs was pre-history?
Victor Ernst
(Laughs) Touche, Miss Ozul. Allow me to rephrase that, the past is a wonderful teacher ...Better?
(Domingo nods approvingly.)
Bond
Is that why you’re in town, Mister Ernst?
You could say that. A zoo went under in ...Tragic circumstances. I stepped in bought the livestock so they can be reintroduced back into the wild, the rest can go to my own private menagerie.
Nixon Albrecht
That's in Mongolia, by the way.
(Nixon Albrecht waits for a reaction from Bond but Bond gives him nothing.)
Ozul
Thank you for your hospitality, Mister Ernst.
Victor Ernst
Thank you for coming, Mister Seles, Miss Ozul ...Mister James (said knowingly.)
(Victor Ernst and Nixon Albrecht leave the three of them to ponder their conversation.)
Ozul
They know something.
Bond
No doubt.
Domingo
We should get them alone and chop pieces off until whatever’s left talks.
(Bond and Ozul look at Domingo in surprise.)
Domingo
I’m a pirate’s daughter what do you expect?
Bond
There are easier ways to find information from someone. I want you two to stay in plain sight at all times, no quiet corridors or small rooms and no matter who tries to summon you anywhere else in the building ignore them.
Ozul
What about you?
Bond
If I’m not out in five minutes get in the surveillance vehicle outside as soon as possible as it won’t be safe.
Domingo
Good luck, James.
Bond
You to.
(Bond follows Victor Ernst through the crowd and watches him disappear down a corridor, as soon as he walks a few feet down to follow him a number of shadows fall behind him. Bond turns to look and three armed, hired-goons block his path along with one of Ernst's main lieutenant. Bond smiles at them and points down the corridor. They nod humorlessly and Bond heads down to the room Ernst entered only moments before. Inside the room there are various gaming tables. Victor Ernst is sat at the backgammon table with the ever-constant Nixon Albrecht stood behind him. Four more gun-for-hire types are in the room already and they are joined by the three who trapped Bond.)
Victor Ernst
Mister Bond, I can’t say it’s a pleasure to meet you, but, I’m sure you feel the same way about me.
Bond
You noticed.
Victor Ernst
You think your emotions are guarded but you wear your contempt for others like lesser men wear their old school ties.
Bond
I suppose you’d know all about lesser men.
Victor Ernst
Oh that’s a low blow, Mister Bond. Are you still smarting from yesterday morning? You know I did not have you pegged as being such a bad loser.
Bond
That’s because usually I’m such a superb victor.
Victor Ernst
Well that’s something we have in common. What’s your game, Mister Bond; roulette, poker, backgammon, baccarat?
Bond
I’m not really in a playful mood.
Victor Ernst
(Mood changes) That makes two of us. You know I’m offended you and your friends had the gaul to show up tonight.
(Cut to: INT: Back of van. Q is listening intently.)
Victor Ernst (Voice-Over)
...Including you MI6 friends in the back of the van.
(Cut to: EXT: Van in street. It’s an overly large van with an overly large cheery cleaning logo on the side.)
Victor Ernst (V-O)
Don’t you intelligence types use anything except cleaning and flower companies?
(Back to: INT: Gaming room.)
Bond
I think you’re the first person to complain about that.
Victor Ernst
Shame you won’t be the one to report it. You won’t be leaving this building alive, Mister Bond. Sure you won’t have one game before then. I figured the odds in this room are stacked enough in my favour for me to be able to play fair.
(Bond studies all the hired-guns for a moment.)
Bond
I’d give you about evens on that. (Bond takes pleasure in Ernst’s annoyed look.) Backgammon you say? (Bond sits at the board as he does he notices that now that Victor has his jacket removed and his collar open there are various prominent veins, scar tissue and various other curious marks.)
He’s not back. We should leave.
(Pause.) Agreed. Sticking around is for suckers. Let’s go.
Those marks on your arm are curious. Not going to keel over during the game are you?
Not likely. That's taken care of. NNNGGGHH!
(Another seizure begins and the veins pop through Ernst's neck and temples, his eyes glaze over with fear momentarily. Bond clenches his fists to move but the preparatory click of weaponry behind him keep him in his seat. Nixon moves forward, his eyes on Bond before he turns his back to Bond and places his hand on Ernst's shoulder.)
Nixon
Are you all right, sir?
(The pulsing veins quiet and normality returns to Ernst's features.)
Ernst
I'm fine thank you, Nixon.
Care to elaborate?
It’s Marethalor’s syndrome, a severe brain degenerative disease. It's trying to close down the synaptic links that control my bodily functions. It's a despicable disease as it closes down your body while higher functions remain in tact, eventually causing agonising organ failure and death. It is fortunate for me that I work in an industry that can help.
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Do you know why I like Backgammon, Mister Bond?
No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me anyway.
It’s because it’s all about numbers and balance. There is the smallest element of chance involved but usually those who use the numbers wisely will always see the board tip to their advantage.
Back to: INT: Gaming room. The explosion catches everyone off guard. Bond launches an elbow to the man’s ribs to his right and then twists to deliver a crunching blow to the man on the left, breaking his nose, the other men start to remove their guns when...)
Victor Ernst
NO! NO BLOOD!
(Bond smiles as they all try to take him down and he is able to use their numbers and against then as he uses his knees, elbows, fists and fingers to inflict all manner of painful injuries. He has dispensed four of the guns for hire and is in the zone where inflicting the most pain while suffering the least damage is almost a game to him until the thick end a croupier’s chip stick cracks him across the back of the skull, splitting the stick in two and sending Bond to slumber. As he falls we see Victor behind him with what is left of the stick.)
Victor Ernst
(Trying hard not to gag at the sight of blood.) Eurgh! Take that man to the outskirts and just ...Just put a bullet in his head, kill him!
Nixon
What about his friends, sir?
Victor Ernst
Find them ...Same treatment.
Nixon
Yes sir.
Third Lieutenant
I’ll take Bond, sir.
Victor Ernst
Eurgh! Fine. (Exchanges look with Nixon Albrecht who then nods knowingly towards Ernst' second lieutenant.)
(Cut to: INT: Van. Q is in the passenger seat while another member of MI6 drives. Ozul and Domingo are behind the seats trying to find out what is happening.)
Ozul
If Mister Bond has been captured shouldn’t we try and assist him?
Q
No. If a 00 agent is captured it’s up to them to use their wits and invention or one of my inventions to get out of a situation. If they can’t do that then they’re probably shouldn’t be 00’s any more.
Domingo
We’re just going to leave him?
Q
Yes. The assignment for Bond was all about keeping you safe, if we go back then we won’t really be doing that will we?
(As Q says this four black cars surround the flower van, two dart in front of the vehicle and stop and two dart behind and jam the vehicle in. As men wearing dark suits and even darker moods emerge from the vehicles it appears that time has finally caught up with Ozul and Domingo.
Cut to: INT: Back of a black van. There are 3 hired goons sitting either side of Bond who is handcuffed and on the floor with a sack-cloth bag on his head, his hands are hand-cuffed but he’s rolling something intently between his fingers. In the front passenger seat Ernst’s main lieutenant sits wearing a determined look on his face.)
Third Lieutenant
Here will suffice.
(The van pulls up.)
(Cut to: EXT: Van. Tree lined road in middle of nowhere. They pull Bond out of the vehicle and drag him on his knees in front of the lieutenant who places a supressor on a smith and wesson and aims it on the left side of Bond’s head.)
Third Lieutenant
Mister Ernst says you may like to know that this will also be your friend’s fate.
Bond
Tell him I said he can go to hell.
Third Lieutenant
Goodbye, Mister Bond.
(Lieutenant shoots, the bag bursts and blood dribbles down the side of the bag as Bond slips down to the floor dead. The lieutenant and the goons get back in the van and drive off leaving Bond’s corpse by the side of the road. After a few seconds another car drives up and a man emerges, walking up to the corpse, gun in hand. The camera pans up and the black beard and distinctive scowl tells us instantly who it is.)
Man
You know I’m getting tired of saving you ass.
(Bond springs the cuffs and removes the bag from his head, as the bag comes off we can see a bag of fake blood on the shot side.)
Bond
What the? (Recognises who it is.) ...Felix. You? ...Saving my ass? I could easily have escaped from there if your man hadn’t left his CIA ring in my hands to let me know you had a mole in Ernst’s organisation.
Felix
Well, seemed like the least we could do. Last thing we need is any more friendly fire incidents.
Bond
What about Ozul and Domingo?
Felix
In the limo with me, Q’s still looking over your man Gillam’s designs trying to figure why they were so keen to have him work for Seles Engineering. Before we go though your department asked me to pass on some bad news ...001 didn’t make it.
(Bond’s reaction is slightly more pronounced than the news of 002 but he still reins in quicker than a normal man would.)
Felix
Did you know him well?
Bond
A little. He gave me some good advice just after I’d been made a 00.
(Cut to: Flashback. INT. Office. Day. Bond is waiting in M’s ante room in a black suit. 001 leaves M’s main office with an easy smile and cutting a dash in a magnificent three-piece that makes Bond’s two-piece seem almost drab. The two men recognise each other and Bond knows he is expected to exchange pleasantries as they work doing the same role within the same department.)
Bond
One.
001
Seven. How are you enjoying your new found freedom?
Bond
I’d enjoy it a lot more without the leash I have around me at the minute. What kind of mood is she in this morning?
001
The same as most people who have a few hundred alpha active missions ongoing, several hundred alpha males working under her who think they know more than she does and twenty or thirty MP’s in Whitehall who all think they could do a better job than her and for less money.
Bond
You sound like her biggest fan.
001
I’ve known her long enough to appreciate that she has more plates to juggle than most and like us she’s constantly attacked from all sides. You might want to bear that in mind the next time you give her a hard time.
Bond
Is this a warning?
001
I don’t give warnings to people that may have my back in future. I know you believe you can’t trust anyone but you still have to know who your friends are AS WELL as your enemies (001 begins to leave the ante-room then stops) Learn it sooner rather than later because it’s that that keeps your soul in tact ...That and a hobby. I collect stamps. (Leaves the room. Bond smiles at that last comment as the oldest serving 00 has managed to impress the younger man in a hurry. The desk then buzzes with a familiar voice coming over the intercom.)
Intercom
Where the hell is Bond?! I said nine-thirty sharp!
(Bond enters her office.)
Bond
Sorry, Ma’am, got caught in traffic.
(Back to: EXT: Car. Bond smiles before choosing his next words carefully.)
Bond
He told me some things I didn’t figure for quite some time about recognising who your friends are?
Felix
Are we friends?
Bond
Social, but not close.
Felix
Remind me not to give you an invite if I ever get married.
(Bond smiles and gets in the car. About forty metres away two cars await in the bushes, lights off and out-of-sight. In the lead car Victor Ernst’s main lieutenant stares out at the scene. He calls his boss as Felix’s limo leaves.)
Second Lieutenant
Mister Ernst? You were right, sir. Erdington is the mole. Yes, sir ...And Bond and his companions? Very good, sir. (Ernst’s lieutenant hangs up and proceeds to make a further call) Max? Bring the truck.
(Back to: INT: Car. Bond and felix discuss the in’s and out’s of their current assignment.)
Bond
So how long have you had an agent woking in QUANTUM?
Felix
‘Bout a year and a half. We didn’t know Ernst was in QUANTUM at first. We were investigating him due to his charitable interests.
Bond
He got himself flagged because of his wildlife protection activities.
Felix
Yep, when a man with a dubious past like Ernst decides to give so much to charity he’s usually motivated by a hell of a lot more than a guilty conciience.
Bond
The downside and the benefit of our wonderfully paranoid culture.
Felix
Without that paranoia you and me’d be out of a job my friend.
Bond
Amen to that. Has your man found out much during his time there?
Felix
No. That’s the thing about them, they’ve left specifics about whatever it is they’re planning spread among only a few high rankers within the organisation.
NO! NO BLOOD!
(Trying hard not to gag at the sight of blood.) Eurgh! Take that man to the outskirts and just ...Just put a bullet in his head, kill him!
What about his friends, sir?
Find them ...Same treatment.
Yes sir.
I’ll take Bond, sir.
Eurgh! Fine. (Exchanges look with Nixon Albrecht who then nods knowingly towards Ernst' second lieutenant.)
Ozul
No. If a 00 agent is captured it’s up to them to use their wits and invention or one of my inventions to get out of a situation. If they can’t do that then they’re probably shouldn’t be 00’s any more.
We’re just going to leave him?
Yes. The assignment for Bond was all about keeping you safe, if we go back then we won’t really be doing that will we?
Here will suffice.
Mister Ernst says you may like to know that this will also be your friend’s fate.
Bond
Goodbye, Mister Bond.
You know I’m getting tired of saving you ass.
What the? (Recognises who it is.) ...Felix. You? ...Saving my ass? I could easily have escaped from there if your man hadn’t left his CIA ring in my hands to let me know you had a mole in Ernst’s organisation.
Well, seemed like the least we could do. Last thing we need is any more friendly fire incidents.
What about Ozul and Domingo?
In the limo with me, Q’s still looking over your man Gillam’s designs trying to figure why they were so keen to have him work for Seles Engineering. Before we go though your department asked me to pass on some bad news ...001 didn’t make it.
Did you know him well?
A little. He gave me some good advice just after I’d been made a 00.
One.
Seven. How are you enjoying your new found freedom?
I’d enjoy it a lot more without the leash I have around me at the minute. What kind of mood is she in this morning?
The same as most people who have a few hundred alpha active missions ongoing, several hundred alpha males working under her who think they know more than she does and twenty or thirty MP’s in Whitehall who all think they could do a better job than her and for less money.
You sound like her biggest fan.
I’ve known her long enough to appreciate that she has more plates to juggle than most and like us she’s constantly attacked from all sides. You might want to bear that in mind the next time you give her a hard time.
Bond
I don’t give warnings to people that may have my back in future. I know you believe you can’t trust anyone but you still have to know who your friends are AS WELL as your enemies (001 begins to leave the ante-room then stops) Learn it sooner rather than later because it’s that that keeps your soul in tact ...That and a hobby. I collect stamps. (Leaves the room. Bond smiles at that last comment as the oldest serving 00 has managed to impress the younger man in a hurry. The desk then buzzes with a familiar voice coming over the intercom.)
Where the hell is Bond?! I said nine-thirty sharp!
Sorry, Ma’am, got caught in traffic.
He told me some things I didn’t figure for quite some time about recognising who your friends are?
Are we friends?
Social, but not close.
Remind me not to give you an invite if I ever get married.
Mister Ernst? You were right, sir. Erdington is the mole. Yes, sir ...And Bond and his companions? Very good, sir. (Ernst’s lieutenant hangs up and proceeds to make a further call) Max? Bring the truck.
So how long have you had an agent woking in QUANTUM?
‘Bout a year and a half. We didn’t know Ernst was in QUANTUM at first. We were investigating him due to his charitable interests.
He got himself flagged because of his wildlife protection activities.
Yep, when a man with a dubious past like Ernst decides to give so much to charity he’s usually motivated by a hell of a lot more than a guilty conciience.
The downside and the benefit of our wonderfully paranoid culture.
Without that paranoia you and me’d be out of a job my friend.
Amen to that. Has your man found out much during his time there?
No. That’s the thing about them, they’ve left specifics about whatever it is they’re planning spread among only a few high rankers within the organisation.
Bond
Like Nixon Albrecht?
Felix
That guy? The accountant who's always by Ernst's side. The two even go the can together.
Bond
Has your man managed to find out anything else?
Felix
No. The plebs at the bottom only have fragments so we have no idea what the whole is? The big players within QUANTUM are too well connected for us to make a play. Amazing just how much insulation money can buy you when you’ve got the cash. Because of that we can’t move against them without revealing our hand too early...
Bond
...But if we reveal too late the results could be far worse.
Felix
The fine art of knowing when to call.
(Sub-machine-gun fire knocks out the windows on all sides of the limo sending tiny shards of glass all over the vehicle. Two cars then dart in front of the CIA vehicle and shoot out their windows and headlights as they cross the path of the CIA car and then brake suddenly so they are behind the CIA vehicle, shooting indiscriminately. Bond takes Felix gun and fires back at the pursuing vehicles who hang back but continue to fire. Bond keeps shooting and hits one of the tyres causing the pursuing vehicle to lose control and crash at speed into a tree. Bond re-enters the limo to change the magazine as they enter an upcoming tunnel blind, as he does so the right-hand wing-mirror is torn from the door by machine gun fire, the pursuing vehicle then turns it’s lights off so they’re all driving blind. The limo then bumps upward and crashes into some boxes, the airbags deploying in the front as gas fills the car. Felix tries to get the car in reverse but by the time he does and the car rolls back he is already asleep, the limo banging harmlessly against the back door of the articularted lorry they have just unknowingly driven into. The lorry switches its lights on and heads off into the night with its precious sleeping cargo.
Cut to: INT: Office. Day. Bond comes to in a chair in an office that at first glance could be anywhere. As he rubs his head, face and muscles to wake each piece of him up as quickly as possible the first thing he notices are the sounds, exotic birds, a few wildcats and some exotic unplaceable herbivores. He then notices the huge window behind the desk which he assumes is Victor’s. As he gets up to take a look at it he sees stretching back Victor’s huge zoo, which tells Bond straight away what country he is in. It is then that Victor himself enters with a cheery demeanour, his more-than-able, pint-sized body-guard, Cho and three other guards all armed with hunting rifles, Bond instinctively reaches for his Walther which Ernst holds out to show that Bond’s instinctive rush is wasted.)
Ernst
Welcome, Mister Bond. I think that I have judged the numbers right for you this time, with my current crop of guards. I have a penchant for that in business you see, guessing the numbers. It’s a bit of a gift. I have taken the precaution of using a similar number with your nothing friends, a couple of pirates who masquerade as a company CEO and his secretary, a geek and a man who has been given a desk job as he has reached the end of his own usefulness at the top of his organisation as a reward.
Bond
Remind me again where you are within your organisation.
Bond
Not that I recall.
Ernst
Most people haven’t and that’s a shame. It’s a beautiful country with a rich and stunning history that’s as culturally relevant as anything the west has to offer. Although that said I guess there is something to be said for its isolation as it hasn’t been managed to be ruined by a McDonalds and a Starbucks on every other street corner.
Bond
(Rubbing his neck to wake himself up, bored.) Is this you acting on behalf of QUANTUM or as part of the Mongolian tourist board?
Ernst
I think it must be something about your organisation that tends to mean that all it’s employees develop a somewhat dry sardonic wit. Your 002 was exactly the same, until he happened across my friend Cho here.
(Bond again flinches and Cho brings a new stick up to use against him, behind Bond all the rifles are cocked. Not being one to underestimate the odds Bond relaxes.)
Ernst
(Moves behind his desk and reawakens his computer.) Trust me, Mr Bond, you can’t win.
(Bond has a slight chuckle)
Bond
If you think your biological attack around the globe when those planes go into service is still on then I think you might be disappointed.
Ernst
“Gasp!” NO! You think? (Hits a button on the keyboard) You don’t mean this email that Q sent saying “BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, clean-air coach class, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, biological weapon, BLAH, BLAH BLAH, postpone the launch? Yes, the buffer from Gillam’s computer that links with any that attaches itself allowed us to stop that one getting back to London, as well as Q’s birthday flowers to his girlfriend. She’s the only one who will be disappointed.
Bond
Where are the people I came with?
Ernst
They are all safe ...For now. Whether they remain so is entirely your decision.
Bond
Do you expect me to talk?
Ernst
No. I expect you to listen, but not here. Shall we?
(Ernst presses a button on his desk and a pressurised door opens and Ernst gestures Bond to walk out in front into the zoo area. Bond walks down into the zoo which is largely a huge open plan area. Above the vast structure a series of girders intersect in a hexagonal design with pulleys and gurneys hanging from them. A few feet behind Ernst his men walk vigilantly.)
Ernst
What do you think of my little conservation project, Mister Bond?
Bond
Impressive, although I’m not quite sure that having your own private biosphere counts as conservation.
Ernst
You’d be surprised what we’ve done here in the research sector. It has allowed us to keep animals on the brink of extinction to live in safety, we let them die out in the public eye, allow the species to repopulate and, when sufficient numbers are reached, release them back into the wild successfully.
Bond
Like the Ignatious turtle last year?
Ernst
You keep yourself well-informed don’t you, Mister Bond?
Bond
You never know what information might come in handy, several thousand of the turtles turned up last year to lay their eggs when their numbers had believed to have diminished to less than a hundred.
Ernst
Indeed, here within the labs and the technical support we are able to maintain and support a diverse eco-structure. We have a variety of wildcats whose numbers are diminishing, including the Siberian tiger, that’s in our polar region, American wild horses whose numbers are sadly in decline and of course the Black Rhinoceros.
Bond
How do you keep it so that there are no bars and they don’t kill each other and undo all your good work?
Ernst
A series of virtual electric fences that go off when the animals get too near. Enough so they know the fence is there but not enough to kill them.
Bond
Just enough of a jolt to let them know who’s boss.
Ernst
Precisely.
Bond
Is that how you see murder and kidnap?
Ernst
No, we only do that when other things have failed, which brings us rather neatly to you, Mister Bond. I have tried to kill you simply, gun-shot, strangulation, knife wounds but you seem to have a knack of avoiding the simplest of deaths.
Bond
I guess I enjoy breathing too much.
Ernst
Which is why I have a unique offer for you, Mister Bond. You have been a thorn in my organisation’s side for too long, you fight for a government that see you as a pen’s click away from being made obsolete and a public who see you and your ilk as an expensive luxury. You are not appreciated by your country, you are not valued by your people. I can offer you a place somewhere far more lucrative.
Bond
Are you offering me a place in your zoo? I always did fancy being put out to stud ...Or maybe you mean the twenty-eight point five seven percent?
(Ernst flinches for a second then sighs)
Ernst
I’m offering you a place within my organisation. Your loyalty for your friend’s lives. That is the deal that is on the table and it’s a good deal.
Bond
Why would you make such a deal?
Ernst
Because soon your idea of sides will be obsolete. Soviet, US, China, UK, all different tribes, all different priorities, all different rules. Soon this quaint and outdated view of the world will be consigned to the history book of time, like a circle soon their will only be one side and that will be our side and we, no, I, would rather have you on that side.
Bond
And I suppose if I refuse then it’s the end for me and those who travel with me?
Ernst
We are busy eliminating the other loose ends now, it is only out of respect for you that your friends are still alive.
...But if we reveal too late the results could be far worse.
The fine art of knowing when to call.
Welcome, Mister Bond. I think that I have judged the numbers right for you this time, with my current crop of guards. I have a penchant for that in business you see, guessing the numbers. It’s a bit of a gift. I have taken the precaution of using a similar number with your nothing friends, a couple of pirates who masquerade as a company CEO and his secretary, a geek and a man who has been given a desk job as he has reached the end of his own usefulness at the top of his organisation as a reward.
Remind me again where you are within your organisation.
Ernst
(Victor looks annoyed) I don’t believe you’ve been to Mongolia before have you?Not that I recall.
Most people haven’t and that’s a shame. It’s a beautiful country with a rich and stunning history that’s as culturally relevant as anything the west has to offer. Although that said I guess there is something to be said for its isolation as it hasn’t been managed to be ruined by a McDonalds and a Starbucks on every other street corner.
(Rubbing his neck to wake himself up, bored.) Is this you acting on behalf of QUANTUM or as part of the Mongolian tourist board?
I think it must be something about your organisation that tends to mean that all it’s employees develop a somewhat dry sardonic wit. Your 002 was exactly the same, until he happened across my friend Cho here.
(Moves behind his desk and reawakens his computer.) Trust me, Mr Bond, you can’t win.
If you think your biological attack around the globe when those planes go into service is still on then I think you might be disappointed.
“Gasp!” NO! You think? (Hits a button on the keyboard) You don’t mean this email that Q sent saying “BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, clean-air coach class, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, biological weapon, BLAH, BLAH BLAH, postpone the launch? Yes, the buffer from Gillam’s computer that links with any that attaches itself allowed us to stop that one getting back to London, as well as Q’s birthday flowers to his girlfriend. She’s the only one who will be disappointed.
Where are the people I came with?
They are all safe ...For now. Whether they remain so is entirely your decision.
Do you expect me to talk?
No. I expect you to listen, but not here. Shall we?
What do you think of my little conservation project, Mister Bond?
Impressive, although I’m not quite sure that having your own private biosphere counts as conservation.
You’d be surprised what we’ve done here in the research sector. It has allowed us to keep animals on the brink of extinction to live in safety, we let them die out in the public eye, allow the species to repopulate and, when sufficient numbers are reached, release them back into the wild successfully.
Like the Ignatious turtle last year?
You keep yourself well-informed don’t you, Mister Bond?
You never know what information might come in handy, several thousand of the turtles turned up last year to lay their eggs when their numbers had believed to have diminished to less than a hundred.
Indeed, here within the labs and the technical support we are able to maintain and support a diverse eco-structure. We have a variety of wildcats whose numbers are diminishing, including the Siberian tiger, that’s in our polar region, American wild horses whose numbers are sadly in decline and of course the Black Rhinoceros.
How do you keep it so that there are no bars and they don’t kill each other and undo all your good work?
A series of virtual electric fences that go off when the animals get too near. Enough so they know the fence is there but not enough to kill them.
Just enough of a jolt to let them know who’s boss.
Precisely.
Is that how you see murder and kidnap?
No, we only do that when other things have failed, which brings us rather neatly to you, Mister Bond. I have tried to kill you simply, gun-shot, strangulation, knife wounds but you seem to have a knack of avoiding the simplest of deaths.
I guess I enjoy breathing too much.
Which is why I have a unique offer for you, Mister Bond. You have been a thorn in my organisation’s side for too long, you fight for a government that see you as a pen’s click away from being made obsolete and a public who see you and your ilk as an expensive luxury. You are not appreciated by your country, you are not valued by your people. I can offer you a place somewhere far more lucrative.
Are you offering me a place in your zoo? I always did fancy being put out to stud ...Or maybe you mean the twenty-eight point five seven percent?
I’m offering you a place within my organisation. Your loyalty for your friend’s lives. That is the deal that is on the table and it’s a good deal.
Why would you make such a deal?
Because soon your idea of sides will be obsolete. Soviet, US, China, UK, all different tribes, all different priorities, all different rules. Soon this quaint and outdated view of the world will be consigned to the history book of time, like a circle soon their will only be one side and that will be our side and we, no, I, would rather have you on that side.
And I suppose if I refuse then it’s the end for me and those who travel with me?
We are busy eliminating the other loose ends now, it is only out of respect for you that your friends are still alive.
Bond
(Laughs) Respect for me?
Ernst
You may laugh, Mister Bond, but I’m deadly serious. Change is coming and soon, it cannot be stopped. In four days time the world will have more to worry about than some malfunctioning planes, in spite of your best efforts to stop us. These forces in play cannot be stopped, much like our friend the tiger here...
(Bond looks round and in the grass the stripes are just about visible as one lurks within the undergrowth, other foliage nearby also moves telling the zoo explorers they are not alone.)
Cut to: INT: Animal cages. Four cells with three walls and bars at the front, the cells are about three metres by three metres, a small barred window providing light from the zoo area, but the hay on the floor indicate that these area are not for humans. In the unrestrained area guarding them are four armed men who are staring at Domingo, who is still wearing her short skirt with intent. Felix, Domingo, Q and Ozul are all in different cells. Ozul, Q and Felix have their hands bound. Felix also has his feet bound and his mouth taped shut. Q and Domingo are sat against opposite sides of the same wall.)
Domingo
I cannot believe we are going to die like this.
Q
We’re not.
Soldier 1
You soon will be unless your friend agrees to go along with Mister Ernst’s plan.
Q
He won’t do that.
Soldier 1
Then you are all dead then.
(The soldiers all laugh.)
Q
We’ll see.
Soldier 1
(Steps forward and speaks to Domingo) You ...Strip!
Ozul
That is MY SISTER!
Soldier 2
(Walking over to Ozul’s cell) Back down, Gigantor, you are not bulletproof.
Felix
Heh heh heh! You gotta love private security organisations, they got the discipline of a school-trip to Amsterdam.
(The soldiers look worried and head down to Felix’ cell to see his mouth is no longer taped up.)
Soldier 3
Your mouth is supposed to be taped up.
Felix
Then why don’t you come in here and do it for me.
(Soldier 2 looks nervous. Soldier 1 suddenly looks less confident)
Soldier 1
Now, now, let’s all calm down all right. Like I said, you strip.
Felix
Anybody’d think you’d not seen a woman in the last six months or something.
Soldier 1
WE HAVEN’T! NOW STRIP!
(Domingo turns around and unzips her dress letting it fall to the floor.)
Soldier 1
More!
(Domingo removes her bra, her hands across her chest and walks over to the bars.)
Back to: INT: Zoo. Bond and the others stare out at the advancing wildcats. The gunmen click their rifles and aim and the tigers halt their advance, temporarily.)
Ernst
(Pressing remote control) So, Mister Bond. Is your fate going to be with the surviving fittest of with the long gone dodo?
Bond
I don’t wish to be rude but, from experience, mad villains ability to predict my fate has always been a bit off. No offence.
(A glass lift attached to one of the hexagonal struts gets lowered to the ground.)
Ernst
Mad? Nice try, Mister Bond but I think one of you versus five hungry tigers is a numbers game even you cannot win. (Ernst enters the elevator) With the last bullet left I will give you the chance to do the honourable thing. (Throws Walther at Bond’s feet) Unless the thought of being eaten alive is one that appeals to you I’d take the easy way out.
(Bond aims his pistol at the lift as Ernst shuts the door.)
Ernst
(Tapping the glass) Plexi-glass, Mister Bond. Isn’t technology a bitch?
(Bond looks up at the hoists lifting the elevator into the air as the tigers creep forward. He aims the Walther at the main joist and fires. The bullet shatters the joist releasing one of the chains that was hauling the lift into the air causing the lift to swing on the other chain, as all the people in the lift fall against its side the pull against it causes the secondary joist to shatter and the lift to fall and crash apart when it hits the ground.)
Bond
Bullets, Mister Ernst. Isn’t gravity a bitch?
(The noise of Bond’s pistol firing and the crash send the tiger’s back momentarily, but Bond can see their hunger is now looking to get the better of them. He runs over to the shattered elevator and, seeing one of the gunmen struggling to get out, launches a well-timed kick to the man’s face and steal his rifle while the men in the elevator struggle. For a moment he thinks about shooting some of those in the dismantled box, but the growl behind him tells him he doesn’t have time. Instead he turns and shoots out one of the power grids on the wall, breaking the circuit and removing the electric barriers between zones, he then throws the rifle down and runs through the fake jungle, the man who Bond kicked picks up the rifle and aims it after the agent, just as he gets Bond in his sights however his leg is taken from him and he is pulled to the ground by one of the tigers sensing that feeding time has finally arrived.
(Cut to: INT: Cells. The shot rings out and echo in the cells. The soldiers know that means that they should dispose of their guests as they instinctively look up. The people in the cells seize the opportunity, Domingo throws her bra at the aggressive soldier only a few feet away, as he catches it and get an eyeful she yanks the gun off him, as he tries to grab it back she moves faster and shoves the rifle butt in his face, twice, the man next to Ozul attempts to move but the big man pulls the soldier next to the bars as the man outside Q’s cell moves to shoot Ozul, who crouches down hiding behind the soldier and letting him absorb the shot, in error. Felix’ guard aims at Domingo who then collapses in agony with a knife sticking out of his groin, thrown from Felix cell. Domingo uses the rifle she has to shoot out her lock. Ozul does the same and as Domingo unlock’s Q’s cage Felix casually walks out of his own cell, straightening himself down but unbound and unflustered.)
Domingo
Where did you keep that knife?
Felix
If I told you that I’d have to kill you.
(Felix walks down the corridor to see if anyone else is waiting for them.)
Q
(To Domingo) I suspect it’s the reason for the permanent grimace on his face.
(Domingo smiles.)
Ozul
How do we find your friend?
Q
Usually? Follow the explosions.
(Cut to: Bond runs through the fake jungle as he does so he removes his belt and wraps the fabric end around his wrist leaving the buckle end free as his only weapon. While he looks out for any wildcats, every growl and snarl providing cause for concern. Behind him he hears gunfire some distance away and seemingly moving ever more distant. Bond realises that this meant that Ernst had found another way out. In front of him he hears more gunfire and realises his companions may well be dead, stopping Bond momentarily. For less than a second he looks lost, then begins to dart forward again, but is forced to stop as two small zebras run past being chased by a cheetah. Bond presses himself against a tree to avoid detection. As the footfalls echo into the distance Bond heard a “clink” behind him. He turns and ducks as the swinging half of a nun-chuck smashes against the tree Bond was stood against. Cho spins the nun-chuck and hurls a blow at Bond who counters with his belt, the leather wrapping around and the buckle catching on the leather, fusing the two together. Cho pulls on his end and Bond lets him as he gets pulled over with the nun-chuck and launches an elbow at Cho who lets go of the nun-chuck, Bond recovers the weapon and spins it in preparation. Cho moves to punch Bond and Bond swings the weapon out catching Cho in the face. The smaller man rocks back but manages to launch a kick at Bond, catching him in the stomach, Cho seizes upon this and runs at Bond fists ready. Bond flicks out the nun-chuck again, catching Cho on the knuckles, Bond wraps the chain of the weapon over Cho’s head and move to knee him in the face but Cho blocks it and makes his own blow to the groin count. Bond rocks back but is seemingly unaffected.
Bond
After previous experience if that’s all you’ve got you’re gonna be sorely disappointed.
(Cho attempts some punches and Bond blocks or parries most of the insanely quick blow, for anyone else this may have been discouraging but for Cho it merely encourages him to redouble his effort as he launches yet more short but powerful blows that connect viciously leaving Bond shaken and stirred and looking increasingly like he’s going to suffer the same fate as 002, until Bond catches Cho’s arm under his arm-pit and thrusts the blunt ends of the nun-chucks angrily at Cho’s eyebrows, splitting the skin above both eyes. Cho launches a knee to Bond’s mid-riff and a flat palmed punch to Bond’s nose, busting it. Bond let’s go of the arm, moves back and steadies himself. Cho spins a kick at Bond who takes a blow to the face, Cho then moves forward to launch another series of blows but it stopped by the blood in his eyes, impairing his vision. Cho misses with a blow and Bond flicks the chuck against Cho’s teeth, his mouth filling with blood, causing him to cough, Bond shows no remorse and smashes three more blows into the increasingly unfortunate assassin. Cho is knocked to the ground by a particularly savage kick from Bond, but flicks himself back up straight away. Cho remains motionless for a second, then runs into the foliage and out of sight in seconds. Bond hears more more gunfire from in front of him and knows it may well mean the people he travelled with are still alive. Bond darts the opposite way through the trees.
Cut to: INT: Zoo. Cho is running through the trees, various animals are running past of moving foliage in the distance, blood is dripping down his face, he keeps darting forward, stopping occasionally to either spit out blood or wipe it from his face. He is moving quickly bouncing from rock and tree when he is knocked to the ground by a black darting figure. Cho rolls on the ground and then has a feel at his back to find yet more blood. He looks in front of him and sees a panther crouched, ready to pounce. As Cho takes a step back to ready himself two more panthers join the attack, Cho grabs a firm branch from the ground and snaps it in two spinning the different ends as he undoes his shirt to create the impression of a bigger target. The wildcats growl and so does Cho as the two creatures charge at each other.
Cut to: INT: Zoo. Bond moves through the leaves now with purpose towards the increasing sound of gunfire, he hears the sound of horses nearby and then hears a low throaty rumble behind and something large moving through the foliage. He doesn’t wait to be eaten and instead jumps onto the back of one of the horses who at first moves as if to bolt, but then upon hearing the advancing wildcats decides that flight is a better option and runs with all the other horses. The cats are behind the horses but as the horses start to bank away from the offices up ahead Bond knows he has to take action. As he nears the office steps Bond leaps off the horse and rolls to the steps that lead down to the artificial jungle. One of the big cats sees this and leaps at Bond who dives up the steps causing the cat to smack its face against the wall behind Bond, stunning the beast, however, one of its brethren works out to slam the brakes on as it approaches the bottom of the steps. Bond heads up as fat as can and presses the desk button to close the door. but not before the cat gets a paw through to have one final swipe at Bond, who grabs Ernst’s chair and jabs it into the best as he attempts to force its way through the door, sending it back and enabling Bond to jam the door shut. Getting up he can hear more gunshots from inside the building. He quickly studies the map in Ernst’s office and smiles as we cut to a close-up of his finger tapping on the area that says VETERINARY SURGERY.
Cut to: INT: Ozul, Domingo and Felix are being pinned down by the last of Ernst’s guards, retaliating with the few shots they have left.
Felix
(Whisper) anybody else got any bullets left?
Ozul
(checks) One.
Domingo
(Checks) Two.
Felix
Anybody got any last requests?
Back to: INT: Veterinary surgery. Bond looks round for what he needs. There seems to be no end of medical supplies and gleaming surfaces but there are no tranquiliser guns on display and he knows they must be there somewhere. Suddenly he notices a locked cabinet. He picks up a mini-table containing instruments and uses it to smash the lock and remove two multi-tranq pistols before moving out at speed as the gunshots had stopped.
Cut to: INT: Felix, Ozul, Domingo and Q look out of ideas as they have no more rounds left and instead await their future with guns poised like clubs but with little doubt their fate will not be pretty. Down the corridors four of their captors advance with caution and precision while three of their colleagues hold back to provide cover. Bond appears behind them with to guns and shoots two of their guards who only have time to feel pain and look round in surprise before the toxins kick in and sends them to sleep, the third manages to get a shot off as Bond dives to the ground and makes good his final shot to the third man. The four men down the corridor don’t know where to aim as Bond picks up the rifle and starts to shoot, instantly downing one of the numbers. At the other end of the corridor Ozul, Domingo and Felix recognise that the gun-battle has changed direction and so it is their turn to stalk their prey quietly, until they reach the three remaining soldiers and bring down their weapons as clubs, smashing them against their opponents, wilfully shattering bone and rendering them unconscious. Bond strolls up and uses the remaining tranq rounds on the guards who are still alive on the floor. Domingo watches impassively before speaking to Bond.
Domingo
(curious rather than annoyed) You don’t know the weights of these men. Those tranquiliser doses could kill them ...Or send them insane.
Bond
The only people I am concerned about are those left standing.
Ozul
Really? Even me?
Bond
Why not you? I’ve quite enjoyed having a henchman. I’m beginning to see the appeal.
(Felix stifles a chuckle, unsuccessfully.)
Ozul
A henchman?!
Bond
Yes. (Prepares rifle) But now our priority is to get out of here.
Felix
I take it you know the way?
Bond
I’ll tell you on route, come on.
(Cut to: EXT: Airfield. With the gargantuan zoo in the background Ernst’s private helicopter is being fuelled for take-off. The flight crew disengage the fuel nozzle and the pilot enters the vehicle with Ernst’s main Lieutenant, Nixon Albrecht in the co-pilot seat while Ernst merely sits in the back. The copter takes off and gently rises into the air, however the copter’s inhabitants‘ attention is momentarily drawn back to the zoo as an explosion rips open the zoo’s administration hub.
Cut to: EXT: Zoo. Bond, Ozul, Felix, Domingo and Q walk through a smouldering hole in the wall that Q looks particularly pleased about.)
Bond
You mocked my exploding pen when you have an exploding pen drive?
Q
We’re also working on an exploding MP4. We call it the i-pod Oh-no.
Bond
(Seeing the helicopter leave.) Q, I need you to head back inside, find a safe area and contact London on the phone, let them know about the biological attack.
Q
But I already emailed them...
Bond
Trust me, they didn’t get it. Ring M. Hopefully there’s still time.
(Bond spies a suitable mode of transport to pursue the copter in the form of a Cessna Skylane.)
Bond
(To Domingo) Can you fly?
(Domingo shoots Bond a look as if to say “Are you kidding me?”)
Domingo
Let’s go!
(Cut to: INT: Helicopter. Ernst is sat in the back of the helicopter surrounded by two armed guards. Nixon Albrecht looks anxious at the front of the Bell Huey transport while they seek to make good their escape.
Cut to: EXT: 5000ft up. The Bell Huey roves through the air untroubled, till beneath it the single engine plane starts to close in. Beneath the wings, Felix and Bond await to depart to board the helicopter.
Cut to: INT: Plane.)
Felix
YOU DO REALISE THERE’S ONLY ONE PARACHUTE?
Bond
THE PARACHUTE SHOULD STAY HERE!
Felix
WHAT?!
Bond
IF EITHER OF US GET KILLED WEARING THE PARACHUTE THEN THE OTHER WILL BE STUCK. IF OZUL STAYS HERE HE CAN USE THE PARACHUTE IF EITHER OF US FALL!
Felix
YOU TRUST THESE PIRATES? NO OFFENCE!
Ozul
NONE TAKEN. (Smiles)
Bond
IF YOU HAVE A BETTER IDEA NOW IS THE TIME!
Felix
NO, BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER ABOUT IT!
(They prepare their weaponry and hook themselves out of the plane so they are half on the wings and the body of the plane as the plane moves itself beneath the helicopter. Inside one of the guards notice and alerts the lieutenant.)
Nixon
SHOOT THE WINGS!
(The guards nod and open the doors only for Bond and Gelix to instantly shoot the guards dead. The one of Bond’s side falls out and the gun falls out of the helicopter with the guard. Nixon sees Felix is still armed and so turns and shoots, slashing at Felix at the temple, knocking him out of the helicopter he falls onto the planes wing rolls down and falls into oblivion. Bond looks down and sees Ozul dive out of the plane, parachute strapped to his back.
Cut to: EXT: 4,000ft and falling. Ozul is diving through the air following Felix’ blood trail as his limp body descends through the air, unaware of its likely fate. Ozul nears the falling Felix and tries to grab him but misses, he then tries again but only succeeds in causing Felix to spin through the air. Ozul reaches his arm over and manages to catch the Intelligence officer by the shoulder, yanks Felix to him and with his free arm, pulls the cord.
Cut to: INT: Helicopter.)
Ernst
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW, MISTER BOND? SAVE YOUR FRIEND OR SAVE THE WORLD?
(Bond watches as the plane comes back under the copter.)
Bond
BOTH!
(Bond yanks himself through the helicopter, clicks off Ernst’s seatbelt and pulls him out of the helicopter and into the plane beneath.)
Nixon
OH, YOU-SON-OF-A-BITCH! YOU! (To the pilot) TURN BACK AND TURN WHOEVER’S IN THE PARACHUTE INTO HUMAN SALAMI. AS FOR YOU, BOSS...
(Cut to: INT: Plane. As Bond gets back in the plane, Victor Ernst is overcome by some sort of spasm, more violent than his previous ones as the veins in his neck look as if they’re about to pop out of his body as he lapses into unconsciousness. Bond gets in the seat next to Domingo and watches as the helicopter turns back, wondering where it’s about to go. As he looks he sees the helicopter back towards Ozul and Felix, the huge rotor spinning furiously. Bond heads back into the cockpit.)
Bond
MOVE OVER!
Domingo
I CAN FLY THIS...
Bond
I’M NOT DEBATING WITH YOU, YOU NEED TO MOVE NOW!
(Domingo moves over and Bond slides into the pilot seat.)
Bond
STRAP YOURSELF IN.
(Bond yanks the steering and puts the plane on an intercept course with the Huey which is heading ever-nearer Ozul and the unconscious Felix. Bond dives the plane and then brings it up under the descending copter, lowering speed to match its tragectory, attempting to push the helicopter up and away from the vulnerable individuals. As the helicopter slows so that it can tear through the falling figures Bond manoeuvres the smaller plane beneath the copter and forces the aircraft upward and away from the two figures, pushing it further and further up.
Cut to: INT: Helicopter.)
Nixon
That’s it. I’ve had enough of you!
(Albrecht picks up one of the guns still left in the back of the aircraft and peppers the light aircraft’s wings with bullets on both sides.)
Pilot
DO YOU STILL WANT TO GO AFTER THE OTHERS, SIR?
Nixon
NAH. NO, LET’S JUST GET OUT OF HERE. GO!
(Cut to: INT: Plane. Bond struggles to control the plane but from behind him Ernst speaks quietly.)
Ernst
Wasn’t me ...It wasn’t me.
Bond
WHAT’S HE SAYING?
Domingo
I DON’T KNOW.
(Ernst beckons her over, weakly. She moves over the seat and puts her ear next to his mouth while cradling his lolling head.)
Ernst
It wasn’t me ...I’m sorry. You have to stop him now.
(Ernst’s head roles back as whatever will held him to the earth dissolves and dissipates.)
Bond
WHAT DID HE SAY?
Domingo
HE SAID IT WASN’T HIM AND WE HAD TO STOP HIM.
Bond
STOP WHO?
Domingo
HOW SHOULD I KNOW? I’M NOT HIS SECRETARY! HE’S DEAD NOW, SEEMINGLY FROM A HEAD WOUND
(Bond looks at the blood an intrigued look on his face.)
Bond
WE NEED TO SET THE PLANE DOWN, NOW. WHERE’S YOUR BROTHER?
(Domingo looks out of the window to see...
Cut to: EXT: Ozul and Felix hit the ground with Ozul landing on a rock breaking his leg as he lands awkwardly. In considerable pain he checks Felix neck for a pulse and lies back down satisfied that he is still alive at least. He then looks up to see the plane struggle to land, but is unable to move to go after the plane to help. The plane judders and shudders as the wings vibrate and wobble as it tries to get safely down to the ground.
Cut to: INT: Plane. Bond is fighting with the controls to land the plane safely over the rocky terrain. He sets the plane down for the left wheel to be knocked off and causing the plane to bank, the wing digging into the ground and causing the plane to somersault disapprovingly as the propeller’s spin is halted causing the engine to whine, as if in pain, as the plane lands on its back. Bond unhooks himself and heads into the back of the craft.)
Bond
You all right?
Domingo
I think so.
Bond
Good. (Opens doors) After you.
Domingo
What about you?
Bond
I need to get him out.
(Bond grabs at Ernst and then Domingo grabs him also.)
Domingo
WE need to get him out.
(Together they lift out the repentant but deceased would-be tyrant from the plane’s ceiling and haul him out as quickly as they can while the flames lap at the front of the plane. After they get a good twenty metres away they collapse and wait for the subsequent explosion that doesn’t happen as the fire continues to lick cheerfully at the metal without tearing through it in a fireball.)
Bond
Safety first these days. I guess these days they don’t build them so that they...
(The plane explodes.)
Bond
...Explodes straight away. Are you all right?
Domingo
I’m fine. Do you have any idea where we are?
Bond
Judging by the terrain I’d say Western Mongolia.
Domingo
It’s cold. Any idea how we’re going to get out of here?
Bond
Hopefully Q will have contacted London by now and we’ll have transport on its way.
(Cut to: INT: M’s home. M is still in his shirt and tie but with a cigar in hand sat in a leather smoking chair.)
M
Mongolia? How the hell have you landed in Mongolia?
Q
It’s a long story, sir, but we’ve discovered that the clean-air coach-class that are about to be launched are rigged with some kind of biological weapon. If they haven’t been launched into service yet they need to be stopped.
M
I’ll make the necessary calls now. Anything else?
Q
You may need to watch yourself, sir. QUANTUM appear to be getting rid of anyone who might be a threat to them now and their definition seems to be becoming quite broad.
M
Noted. I’ll watch myself.
(Camera moves to show that while M is in the chair, calm, he does have a pistol in his hand and as it turns further to what M is looking at we see, on the floor, two more dead hit-men.)
Q
We could do with transport out of here, sir. The temperature may be cold now, but it is set to plummet in the next few hours, oh and one other thing, sir.
M
Yes.
(Cut to: INT: Zoo cells. Q is back in the cells while outside five tigers sit and stare at him like a homeless man staring at a can of beans without a tin opener.)
Q
Can you tell the rescue team that I am surrounded by armed hostiles, but not the usual kind.
(Back to: INT: M’s home. M hears a growl down the line.)
M
Was that a Bengal tiger?
Q
Siberian, sir.
M
Very good.
(M hangs up and proceeds to make a further call to other departments immediately to extract his agents.)
(Laughs) Respect for me?
You may laugh, Mister Bond, but I’m deadly serious. Change is coming and soon, it cannot be stopped. In four days time the world will have more to worry about than some malfunctioning planes, in spite of your best efforts to stop us. These forces in play cannot be stopped, much like our friend the tiger here...
I cannot believe we are going to die like this.
We’re not.
You soon will be unless your friend agrees to go along with Mister Ernst’s plan.
He won’t do that.
Then you are all dead then.
We’ll see.
(Steps forward and speaks to Domingo) You ...Strip!
That is MY SISTER!
(Walking over to Ozul’s cell) Back down, Gigantor, you are not bulletproof.
Heh heh heh! You gotta love private security organisations, they got the discipline of a school-trip to Amsterdam.
Your mouth is supposed to be taped up.
Then why don’t you come in here and do it for me.
Now, now, let’s all calm down all right. Like I said, you strip.
Anybody’d think you’d not seen a woman in the last six months or something.
WE HAVEN’T! NOW STRIP!
More!
(Pressing remote control) So, Mister Bond. Is your fate going to be with the surviving fittest of with the long gone dodo?
I don’t wish to be rude but, from experience, mad villains ability to predict my fate has always been a bit off. No offence.
Mad? Nice try, Mister Bond but I think one of you versus five hungry tigers is a numbers game even you cannot win. (Ernst enters the elevator) With the last bullet left I will give you the chance to do the honourable thing. (Throws Walther at Bond’s feet) Unless the thought of being eaten alive is one that appeals to you I’d take the easy way out.
(Tapping the glass) Plexi-glass, Mister Bond. Isn’t technology a bitch?
Bullets, Mister Ernst. Isn’t gravity a bitch?
Where did you keep that knife?
If I told you that I’d have to kill you.
(To Domingo) I suspect it’s the reason for the permanent grimace on his face.
How do we find your friend?
Usually? Follow the explosions.
Bond
(Whisper) anybody else got any bullets left?
(checks) One.
(Checks) Two.
Anybody got any last requests?
Domingo
Bond
The only people I am concerned about are those left standing.
Really? Even me?
Why not you? I’ve quite enjoyed having a henchman. I’m beginning to see the appeal.
A henchman?!
Yes. (Prepares rifle) But now our priority is to get out of here.
I take it you know the way?
I’ll tell you on route, come on.
Bond
We’re also working on an exploding MP4. We call it the i-pod Oh-no.
(Seeing the helicopter leave.) Q, I need you to head back inside, find a safe area and contact London on the phone, let them know about the biological attack.
But I already emailed them...
Trust me, they didn’t get it. Ring M. Hopefully there’s still time.
(To Domingo) Can you fly?
Let’s go!
YOU DO REALISE THERE’S ONLY ONE PARACHUTE?
THE PARACHUTE SHOULD STAY HERE!
WHAT?!
IF EITHER OF US GET KILLED WEARING THE PARACHUTE THEN THE OTHER WILL BE STUCK. IF OZUL STAYS HERE HE CAN USE THE PARACHUTE IF EITHER OF US FALL!
YOU TRUST THESE PIRATES? NO OFFENCE!
NONE TAKEN. (Smiles)
IF YOU HAVE A BETTER IDEA NOW IS THE TIME!
NO, BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER ABOUT IT!
SHOOT THE WINGS!
Ernst
BOTH!
OH, YOU-SON-OF-A-BITCH! YOU! (To the pilot) TURN BACK AND TURN WHOEVER’S IN THE PARACHUTE INTO HUMAN SALAMI. AS FOR YOU, BOSS...
MOVE OVER!
I CAN FLY THIS...
I’M NOT DEBATING WITH YOU, YOU NEED TO MOVE NOW!
STRAP YOURSELF IN.
That’s it. I’ve had enough of you!
DO YOU STILL WANT TO GO AFTER THE OTHERS, SIR?
NAH. NO, LET’S JUST GET OUT OF HERE. GO!
Wasn’t me ...It wasn’t me.
WHAT’S HE SAYING?
I DON’T KNOW.
It wasn’t me ...I’m sorry. You have to stop him now.
WHAT DID HE SAY?
HE SAID IT WASN’T HIM AND WE HAD TO STOP HIM.
STOP WHO?
HOW SHOULD I KNOW? I’M NOT HIS SECRETARY! HE’S DEAD NOW, SEEMINGLY FROM A HEAD WOUND
WE NEED TO SET THE PLANE DOWN, NOW. WHERE’S YOUR BROTHER?
You all right?
I think so.
Good. (Opens doors) After you.
What about you?
I need to get him out.
WE need to get him out.
Safety first these days. I guess these days they don’t build them so that they...
...Explodes straight away. Are you all right?
I’m fine. Do you have any idea where we are?
Judging by the terrain I’d say Western Mongolia.
It’s cold. Any idea how we’re going to get out of here?
Hopefully Q will have contacted London by now and we’ll have transport on its way.
Mongolia? How the hell have you landed in Mongolia?
It’s a long story, sir, but we’ve discovered that the clean-air coach-class that are about to be launched are rigged with some kind of biological weapon. If they haven’t been launched into service yet they need to be stopped.
I’ll make the necessary calls now. Anything else?
You may need to watch yourself, sir. QUANTUM appear to be getting rid of anyone who might be a threat to them now and their definition seems to be becoming quite broad.
Noted. I’ll watch myself.
We could do with transport out of here, sir. The temperature may be cold now, but it is set to plummet in the next few hours, oh and one other thing, sir.
Yes.
Can you tell the rescue team that I am surrounded by armed hostiles, but not the usual kind.
Was that a Bengal tiger?
Siberian, sir.
Very good.
End of part two - Not affiliated with EON productions and just for fun y'all.
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