NORTHERN FAIL'S EPIC, APPALLING, EMERGENCY-TIMETABLE FAILURE, PART 2

Now, obviously after yesterday's shambolic events I did not think that I would be writing a new story of how today unfolded.  

I thought that things would improve and we would all be getting along fabulously after learning from mistakes ...Right?

After all, we have been told for decades that Private Sector management are so much smarter than the Public Sector with geniuses at companies like Long-Term Capital Management, Enron, Arthur Anderson, Lehman Brothers, Royal Bank of Scotland, Marlins, Woolworths, Toys R Us, Carillion, BHS, MFI, HBOS, Northern Rock, etc etc etc, forever... 

However, here we are and here I am again about to report on a route that the press and the MP's and other bigwigs don't seem to give a monkey's about because it doesn't feature Liverpool or Manchester (the only places that actually exist in the North of England)  This tale again features the almost Adrian-Mole-Esque adventure from Accrington to Bamber Bridge (just before Preston)  On the train at rush hour it would take 30 minutes usually but as Northern Rail have decided (smartly) to take trains off the tracks when customer's need them this is what I had to endure today...

Afternoon:  Check the website because if the trains Northern have declared on their emergency timetable are running there is a train route home (joy!)  It's a rag-tag one and requires 3 trains being on time but it would get me at the Bamber Bridge station for approximately 18:09.

I look for the 17:20 to Preston that was declared on the emergency timetable yesterday ...Now it isn't even on the timetable as "Cancelled".  It has been completely removed.  Coach is now the only option...

16:30  Leave Work

16:34  Arrive at the waiting point at the station for the coach at 17.01

16:35  Coach already there (Yay!)  I ask the driver which way he's going to Colne or to Preston ..."Colne" he replies.  (Balls!)

16:40  Check the board for the Accrington train to Blackburn.  It is relatively on time.  I could have a look at Blackburn if the mysterious 17.20 to Preston is running still, that is if the coach is not on time.

17:01  The coach is not on time

17:04  The coach is still not here

17:05  I get on the train to Blackburn (worst case scenario I can catch the late coach from there)

17:15  Arrive at Blackburn.  The 17.20 to Preston, undeclared on the timetable, is cancelled.

17.18  Arrive at the coach stop for the 17:27 to Bamber Bridge (this is the 17.01 from Accrington.  My hopes are not high for this turning up).

17.27  No coach

17.30  Me and my fellow passengers waiting - still no coach

17.37  Yep, all still here, no coach.

17.42  Still no coach

17.44  For all these people during rush hour a mini-bus shows up.

17.46  We all get on and it is revealed he is a replacement bus service for the replacement bus service after the other replacement bus service was (supposedly) involved in some sort of collision, what with all this extra traffic being on the roads because of the lack of trains no doubt.

17:47  Are we moving?  Are we balls, he needs approval from Control to set-off, and neither he nor the station manager can get through to Northern Rail to get approval to go.

18:00  Driver reveals that he is expected to wait to pick up the next coach driver's rush-hour passengers and transport them home on this mini-bus ...THIS FULL MINI-BUS!

I am going to say it. Control are a bunch of dildo-shaped, fuckwits!

18:13  After nearly half an hour waiting for dithery Northern Rail managers decide what they want to do (they can't blame Network Rail for this, this exposes how awful and clueless and inept they are) we now set-off

19:09  The journey that according to the timetable should take 40 minutes take 56 and I finally arrive in Brig, pissed-off, another night destroyed by stupid managers who are looking at squeezing every penny rather than getting passengers home.  Tonight they deliberately delayed the coach in order to save on paying two coach drivers to do the same route and had the same effect as the previous night when they provided zero service.

Also just as a side note, the 17:20 Blackburn to Preston (as we know) cancelled

18.20 Blackburn to Preston - Cancelled

18.54 Blackburn to Preston - 14 minutes late.

Last week I heard a rail announcement saying the train was late due to Congestion

CONGESTION?  

WHAT CONGESTION?  

There's 2000 services you've cancelled!  How can there be congestion without trains????

Tomorrow I am back slightly later and will have to endure God only knows what.

I don't know what time I can expect to make it back after 2 days of nearly 3 hour delays.

Wish me luck.

Mr Chatable.

Oh and check out my previous entry yesterday where Network Rail lie about booking replacement coaches and laugh at customer's plight enjoy.

https://mike-lambert.blogspot.com/2018/06/northern-fail-sink-to-new-low-with.html

oh and this is from Google re the blog.   Thanks.
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NORTHERN FAIL SINK TO NEW LOW WITH DISASTROUS TEMPORARY TIMETABLE

So much has been made on Northern Rail creating a temporary timetable with only 165 services per day cancelled (only?)  With this in mind I was sure that there would be the minimum disruption to my daily commute from Bamber Bridge to Accrington, after all, the last thing that the senior, well-paid, executives at Northern Rail would want to do is look like utter idiots in the way that G4S did at the Olympics.

This was my journey...

6:25 am -  Get up check I have a train at 7.07 from Bamber Bridge to Accrington.  I do and it's on time.

6:50 am - leave house

7:04 am - arrive at train stop

7:05 am - train late by 15 minutes

7:49 am - arrive approx 15 mins late.

Check throughout the day for the train times.  There's a coach at 17.01pm that will arrive in Bamber Bridge 50 mins later than my train would have, but hey, at least Northern are doing their best and putting replacement coaches on, and that's the main thing.

16:35 pm - leave work

16:42 pm - arrive at train station and wait for coach.

17.01 pm - no coach.

17:10 pm - still no coach

17:12 pm - coach going to Colne comes and goes in opposite direction but our coach to Bamber Bridge ...No sign. 

17:15 pm - passengers look puzzled at their phones as the coach is nowhere to be seen 

17:17 pm - angry customer rings Northern for details of where the coach is.  She is advised that the good news is that the 17.41pm is on time.  She says she isn't ringing about the 17.41pm she is ringing about the 17.01pm.

17:20 pm - Still no coach, still no answers on the phone

17:30 pm - Still no coach and no sign of the angry customer on the phone getting to speak to the relevant person.  Hope fades for the 17.01 but hey, at least the  17.41 will be on time, right?  After all they said on the phone to the angry customer that it WAS on time ...right?

17:41 pm - No coach.  No 17.01 and no 17.41.

17:42 pm - angry customer still on hold

17:50 pm - angry customer finally speaking to Northern Rail Customer Service and explains how bad things are and how she's feeling.

17:51 pm "DON'T YOU LAUGH AT ME!"  Yes, Northern Rail customer service are now laughing at customers who are explaining how utterly angry and desperate and fed-up they are.  Each day when we reach a new low they limbo right underneath it.

17:52 pm - "What do you mean it's delayed?  I know it's delayed, how long will it be?"

17:53 pm - "What do you mean you're having trouble getting the coaches here?  We've already seen them going to Colne".

17:54 pm - "Just tell me straight, have you bothered putting coaches on?"

17:55 pm - "No, that's not what I asked just tell me straight, have you bothered putting coaches on from Accrington to Preston?"

17:56 pm - "You haven't put coaches on.  Okay".

19:22pm - eventually arrive back home two hours later than the usual train service.

Yes, Northern Rail let people coming home from work wait over an hour for a service that was never ever going to turn up and this, they cannot blame on Network Rail.  For all the talk that the exec did in interviews about the unacceptability of the service what today has revealed is that they really don't care.  This is a company with a culture of incompetence and apathy (from hearing the other side of the customer's conversation).

Clearly there are (at least) a couple of areas that need to be looked at.

1)  Customer Service - The staff need retraining to a)  Not lie to customers and b) not laugh at distressed customers.

2)  Control - clearly management at Northern Rail lack even the basic knowledge of how routes work and how to actually book a coach.  Perhaps a training session is required here as well.

In fact the only people who have given straight answers and have been exemplary are the customer facing staff, the guards, you know, the very people Northern Fail are looking at getting rid of.

Today shows every single customer of Northern Rail how valued they are and how understanding to the plight customer services are and sadly the answer is, not very.

I've still been Mr Chatable.

oh and this is from Google re the blog.   Thanks.
European Union laws require you to give European Union visitors information about cookies used and data collected on your blog. In many cases, these laws also require you to obtain consent. 

As a courtesy, we have added a notice on your blog to explain Google's use of certain Blogger and Google cookies, including use of Google Analytics and AdSense cookies, and other data collected by Google.

(picture not necessarily taken on today's journey - disclaimer)

HOW ONE FILM PERFECTLY PREDICTED TORY BRITAIN AFTER THE CREDIT CRUNCH.

There are several different kinds of films in this world.  

Some films are very much of their time, like "Wall Street" and "Shampoo".

Other films are reflections of earlier times and act as social commentary like "Platoon" or "Schindler’s list".

And then there are other films, those rarest of films that don’t comment on the now OR on the past but those rarest of films that actually PREDICT the future, that foresee with a clarity that others cannot and show us our world before it happens,

The film I am talking about in relation to the credit crunch is, of course, ANTZ.  Now of course this is the point I imagine where I lose a lot of people.  A lot of people will reach here and think “That’s it, I’M out!  There’s no way that ANTZ of all films predicts Tory Britain's post economic crash!”  

As a delicious metaphor however …it does …100%.

Let’s look at the evidence.

The Privileged Elite look down on the workers as being lazy unworthy idiots and consider how much better life would be without them.

They maintain they know what they’re doing but really they’re creating disaster for the colony.

Then of course disaster strikes (in our case the credit crunch and in the ANTZ case the mega-tunnel) but in spite of that, somehow, the colony holds on.

As the workers try and hold on, those in power try to put them down …for the GOOD of the colony, but as Z points out “WE ARE THE COLONY!”

If we consider what has been happening since the credit crunch the parallels are stark

The disconnect from those in power (currently) is one that seems to feel that the country and the people are separate.  If a country is not it’s people then what is it?  On the Bronze-plaque at the bottom of the statue of liberty (In the USA) is a description of those it wanted to take in, but it could describe any country, anywhere, at any time.

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
MOTHER OF EXILES. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

This poem by Emma Lazarus has been oft-repeated (most commonly the last four lines) but when one thinks about what occurred in 2008 and those expected to bear the brunt for the sake of the country (or the colony) but let us consider this…

Is a country not its children, whose school budgets have been cut and will have their dinners taken.

Is a country not its students, who we want to drive the economy forward, who instead are now loaded with debt.

Is a county not its workers, whose wages have been kept low by a government unaware that THEY set the tone, and NOT the private sector.

Is a country not its disabled whose services and support has been cut over and over.

Is a country not those wanting to be able to afford a home, to rent or buy?

Is a country not its sick and dying whose pain is expected to worsen and endure because of less resources.

And is a country not it’s elderly who given their lives to serve, only to be told that their homes are now forfeit for private sector residential care.

And that isn’t even looking at the working poor, public sector workers, health service workers, teachers, the police force, the fire service and everyone not located in the south-east corner of England.

Now people say to me…well what would you do?

What you have to do in this situation, think differently.  If all you do is copy standardised practices then you cannot bring about significant changes.  The government bemoan the lack of growth and Theresa May copies Amber Rudd’s phrase “Magic Money Tree” (No doubt Theresa must have seen Amber saying that on TV …In the Leaders Debate.) but since 2008 in bailouts/nationalisations and Quantitive Easing the government has spent over half a trillion pounds on the private financial sector.  

Does that sound like we have no money to you?

The truth of this government is not only that they don’t WANT to try and go for different solutions, they are incapable of coming up with them.

This campaign has seen them re-use Strong and stable

Re-use Suicide note manifesto

Re-use Tax Bomb and now

Re-use “Magic Money Tree”

In order to come up with different solutions you must think differently and they can’t.

The truth is that there is ALWAYS plenty you can do if you’re willing to think differently.

I’ve been Mr Chatable.

And that’s my take on ANTZ and its incredible powers of prediction.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_New_Colossus

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http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/p__/images/2/2d/Imageatqaabwl.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160528012312&path-prefix=protagonist

SO, IF I SLAPPED YOU HARD ACROSS THE FACE ...WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

“Surely, you can’t be serious, Mike?” I hear you say, well I am serious, in fact, in terms of party politics and what is about to happen in the upcoming election, it is probably the most serious question there has ever been.  You see we have already seen how blindingly dangerous Nationalistic politics can be with Scotland’s result in the referendum earlier this year.  The funny thing is that many people in England who were pro-union AND pro-UKIP seem to be incapable of seeing that the argument they were rejecting in Scotland is actually the one they are accepting for the UK.

Let’s start at the beginning with the referendum from the perspective of outside and inside.  Inside Scotland it was all Braveheart-esque speeches over how the Union, or more specifically, England, was holding back Scotland and was responsible for all Scotland’s woes, Scotland would have various economic advantages going alone and would keep the pound.

Outside Scotland, these Braveheart-esque speeches were driving a wedge in the union causing anti-Scottish sentiment south of the border, where many of Scotland’s customers existed, south of the border, where, if the currency went down in value because of Scottish independence, due to economic union, Scotland’s currency would go down in value, etc etc.

For those people outside of the immediate geographic range of Alex Samond's speeches, the economic arguments against an independent Scotland where obvious, but you could not debate with the YES camp in such a logical way, and if you did you were accused of holding them back like an angry teenage son/daughter (trust me, I had these debates at the time, it was like trying to debate with a scatter cushion).

The reality that the YES camp did not get was, if we, one of Scotland’s biggest customers, suffered economically, it would, as buyers of Scottish products (and also as Scotland’s largest tourism contributor) have a significant negative impact on their economy.

BUT MORE THAN THAT ...with the SLAP IN THE FACE that Alex Salmond was delivering with his speeches he was actually creating an environment where the people in the rest of the union would not WANT to associate in business with Scotland.  

To succeed in business you don’t be disrespectful to your customer’s, Gerald Rattner's, rules of business 101.   

Or as Bill Clinton so eloquently put it...

If you SLAP YOUR CUSTOMER’S IN THE FACE they will act in kind to you.  It’s a no-brainer.  

Now, let’s get back to UKIP’s wonderful nationalistic fantasy picture for the UK.  

UKIP like the Scottish Nationalist lay all of our countries woes at the door of the EU and without the EU Boy’s club we would all be better off financially and this would have only a wonderful impact on the UK economy.

Sound familiar?

Why no-one else seems to notice this and not me I do not know but the same SLAP IN THE FACE that Scotland were attempting to deliver to the rest of the union, that most people in England thought was a bad idea, UKIP are trying to convince voters in (largely) England, that this is great idea to deliver to the EU and we will come away unscathed.

THERE ...IS ...NO ...WAY ...WE ...CAN ...SLAP ...THE ...OTHER ...EUROPEAN ...LEADERS ...ACROSS ...THE ...FACE ...AND ...NOT ...HAVE ...IT ...IMPACT ...ON ...OUR ...BUSINESSES ...AND ...ECONOMY.

And as I mentioned earlier, this is without taking into account what the exiting of the UK from the EU is likely to have on European allies own economies, because, they are also customer’s of the UK.  Even if the SLAP IN THE FACE that the exit would deliver doesn’t piss them off when the third largest economy in Europe leaves the club does in anyone in UKIP honestly think that this will have no impact on the remaining European economies?  Yes, we are not tied to Europe in the same economic what that the rest of the Union is tied to Scotland, but to make out that we share no connection with the rest of Europe is naive at best and negligent at worst, especially when you bear in mind the other thing UKIP do not want people to know...

...That many people across the rest of Europe feel the way we do about the federalisation of Europe.

In the last European elections there was a dramatic swing to the right as more and more people reacted against further integration and removal of sovereign rights from home nations.  In fact the European Parliament has probably never been more unpopular among the people of Europe with only the people of Brussels really having any kind of support for the institution seeing as, well, you know, they probably work there.

So what’s brought me writing all this out now?

Well two things, obviously with the election round the corner and  no-one else even even has the gumption to look outside of these borders of ours to consider the effects but also because of the much-criticised channel 4 programme “UKIP:  THE FIRST 100 DAYS” which didn’t so much miss the mark as aim in the completely opposite direction and shoot an arrow into it’s own leg.

For many what they think they know about UKIP and the current political system is wrong.  No doubt there are many of my working brethren out there who think their workers rights are enshrined in British law, however, laws can change, except that these laws can’t be, at least not in the UK.  They’re enshrined in European law, currently laws on Maternity leave, Paternity leave, holiday entitlement and minimum wage are all protected by our inclusion within the EU.

Some of these rights may well be under threat when UKIP come to power.

Don’t believe me?

This is from the UKIP website...

We would review all legislation and regulations from the EU (3,600 new laws since 2010) and remove those which hamper British prosperity and competitiveness.

AND COMPETITIVENESS?  So wonderfully vague, what could it possibly mean, what could stop us competing with the rest of the world.  Nigel and his party’s race to the bottom starts here, something which the rest of the UK seems, sadly, oblivious of.

So, as I said, with this show it would have given Channel 4 to look at the logical arguments why such a shift in policy could have massive repercussions for the UK, for our customers, across Europe and then, most likely, the rest of the country for the next 10 years or more.  Instead they approached the show in sensationalist "UKIP are racist" stereotypical way, which, as we have already seen from the popular press, just entrenches their support, making them feel that they, as UKIP, supporters, are also being accused of being racist by a faceless PC Media machine.

If Nigel and his party do make it into Downing Street come May, on their own or as part of a coalition, then the combination of the media's inaction and inability to logically discuss the likely impact and ramifications for such a change in the political landscape, plus the current political establishment's collusion with special interests resulting in a lack of understanding of reality down among the dead men will undoubtably where the blame lies for such a catastrophic decision.

Shame neither of these two groups will see it that way.

http://footage.framepool.com/shotimg/qf/997249560-slap-in-the-face-bad-temper-aggression-brown-haired.jpg
http://izquotes.com/quotes-pictures/quote-it-s-the-economy-stupid-bill-clinton-340538.jpg
http://static.bips.channel4.com/bse/280x158/ukip-the-first-100-days/f4c8ae2c-b697-475a-b422-c8e12157bf43_625x352.jpg

MY CONFESSION

Booze.

Within our culture it is everywhere.

Since we are born we are force-fed the idea that this is what makes us fun and likeable and tolerable for other people to be around us.  It is a thousand great nights out and turns every party into a joyous wonderful experience, a barbeque into a triumph, a quiet get-together between friends into an intimate tete-a-tete and a night out into a thousand memorable moments still to come.

Being a non-drinker I have seen a lot more of the other side than I have of that one.

I have seen the vomittous side, I have seen the angry arguments side, I have seen the doing stupid things and regretting it forever side, and I have seen these, as much, if not more than the media-painted-rose-coloured side.  I have enjoyed defying convention and laughing in the face of normalities and said “I will do things my way”, and looking at the health side of things I’m glad I have.

Because that’s the thing.  What I have also always been aware of is the health risks associated with drink.  The damage to the liver and brain are well documented, this alone always made me wary of it, and then add to that the other organs that are damaged as well such as the kidneys and the blood and the heart and for me alcohol was always a no-brainer.  

I always said that the little box on top of your shoulders contained everything you were, everything you are and everything you will be ...Probably best not to fuck around with it.

So what was my vice you might ask?  I mean everyone has one so what was my weakness, my itch that I just had to scratch?  Chocolate.  That’s all it was.  I loved chocolate.  If you want me to be more specific about it I will be, specifically almost all of it except white chocolate and Hershey’s, because white chocolate technically isn’t chocolate and Hershey’s is vile, it’s just too sweet and tastes like vomit, in my opinion, but that’s just my tastebuds for you.

Anyway, that was what I longed for.  At Christmas and birthdays it was easy for people to get me what I wanted because everyone knew what I craved.  I was easy to buy for and I got what I wanted and a lot of it.  Every celebration or anniversary I would feel like a very young person in some sort of confectionary store.

Life was good.

But it wasn’t.

You see while alcohol side’s effects and long term repurcussions are visible in people’s stance, walk, face and general behaviour, excessive amounts of chocolate’s effects are not visible, they are entirely invisible, and I didn’t realise until way later just what damage I was doing to myself until recently.

 A routine check-up and check out revealed that I was what is known as pre-diabetic, which means that you’re about as close to being diabetic as you can be without needing regular shots of insulin, however, it also meant something much more sobering ...I was going to have to give up chocolate.  

Before now I wouldn’t say I thought I was better than all the other suckers out there with there enjoyment of alcohol that ...Actually scratch that, I thought I was WAY better than everyone else.  I stayed away from everything that was harmful for you because I valued my smarts over everything else, but it turns out that my replacement crutch was killing everything else except my smarts.

It was a failure of a spectacular nature, and my love affair with chocolate is now over, which has left me searching for answers where there aren’t any questions. 

So what I thought I would do to draw a line underneath all of it is write an official goodbye to one of the most pleasurable things I have experienced in my life, my vice that hits me in the same way that drink does for everyone else after a tough day at the office or after an argument with a loved one.  It’s my goodbye to chocolate.

Dear Chocolate,

  You know, we’ve had some fun times over the years.  When I think back of all the moments I have enjoyed with you, Christmases, Birthdays, Anniversaries, Job starts, Job finishes and pretty much everything else in between.  You’ve always been there and you have provided me with some of your finest works over the years, always consistant, never a disappointment.  Your flavours have provided me with so much joy and so much delicious textures that it fills me with sorrow to have to let you go.  

  Bourneville was one of your greatest creations, for me it’s a reflextion of life itself, it is bitter and sweet all at the same time, as for Orange Aero, I now love the fact that it disappeared from the shelves for ages, unike its more popular mint sibling, because when it came back it was like re-watching a favourite film that you forgot just how damn good it was.

As for Kit-Kat, it is what it is, a moment of wafer and chocolate combined in a blissful twin moment, that sometimes, just sometimes, when you bit into it and it’s pure chocolate only, reminds you that life is also full of pleasant little surprises.

  And as for Terry’s Chocolate Orange, you know what the best thing is about that?  That’s right, that sliver of pure orange chocolate in the middle.  It’s to Chocolate afficados what the remains at the bottom of a bag of dry roasted peanuts are to nut fans, and lest we forget, the Wispa, which was Cadburys take on an Aero, but, was different to an Aero (I still can’t figure out how?)

  And then there’s all the delicous boxes, the after-eights, the dairy milk, the black magic and the Thorntons.  Mmmm, Thorntons, and now we have the Aldi brands too, the exquisite Moser Roth’s and all those other little mixes that you only get from that store.  

For all these things and more that I can count, I thank you.  It’s been great, but you’re killing me, and so it’s time to ease you out of my life.  It won’t be easy and I miss you soooo much already, but so long.  

Fondest memories

Mike Lambert

But that isn’t the end of it.  It is merely the beginning, you see there’s a Diabetes timebomb that’s going on across the country, it’s affecting a lot of people, and we, as a society should probably be doing more about that.  I mean this is a condition that is potentially lethal and yet there’s very little being advertised.  I mean you have to really look and notice to actually see what is going on.

http://home.bt.com/lifestyle/wellbeing/diabetes-a-uk-health-emergency-11363917705967

http://home.bt.com/news/uknews/over40s-given-diabetes-warning-11363881911111

  Maybe chocolate should have a government warning on the wrapper.  Maybe every-time there’s an advert it should include the words “Enjoy Chocolate responsibly”.  Of course it will have no effect at all but at least it would acknowledge the problem, something that currently we don’t appear to be doing, in spite of certain quarters attempts to prevent it.

  And all of this pains me.  It’s sad that one of the things that I still crave now, that I feel a burning hunger for deep inside every time I walk down those aisles in the supermarket, every time I venture down that end row in home bargains, and every time I get to the second row in Aldi is damaging me so much inside, and hurting so many others also.

I've been MrChatable, I am pre-diabetic and I miss chocolate.  :(

http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/bottles-booze-liquor-alcohol-bar-tavern-24525293.jpg

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http://www.kaveyeats.com/files/2013/06/moser-roth-1.jpg

LET’S BE HONEST, IT IS POSSIBLE FOR ENGLAND TO WIN THE WORLD CUP.

But it’s not going to happen.  Yep.  I’m hitching my colours firmly to someone else, not because I’m not an England fan and not because I like saying “I told you so” to everyone when I’m right and they’re wrong (even though I do enjoy doing that!)

You see Football is a game of narrow margins, it is a game not about the strongest links but about the exploitation of the weakest, and the World Cup is the cruelest chalice of them all where great players such as Cruyff, Zico, Yashin and Platini have all seen their dreams of lifting the greatest trophy on earth crumble to dust.  The World Cup is an incredible spectacle of skill, organisation, patriotism and luck but it is also something that comes around every four years only.  It is special because it is rare, few teams win it but through fair means or foul some teams do.

However one thing that you do need to win the world cup is between 7 or 8 World class players and NO WEAK LINKS.

As we’ve seen from the Champions League teams with weak links tend not to win and the World Cup is an amplification of this 100 fold.  Back in 2002 and again in 2004 it could be argued that England fell into the above illustrious category.  They had a slew of great players all coming together at the same time and while it was easy back then just to accept England not winning (as usual) now, when we look back, it seems hard to understand just HOW they managed not to win anything.

How long ago do these games seem now, how long ago is it since we saw David Beckham;s wonder free kicks, since Joe Cole’s amazing goal against Sweden, Rooney tearing through Croatia like a dog shredding a chew toy and since Owen’s blistering hat-trick against Germany?

One would have thought that this new breadth of English talent that came through in the early 00’s would have spurned the FA on to not just find more of this talent but nurture it so that the great drop-off of talent and ability did not occur as it does do in the English game due to untold distractions such as dames, injuries or laziness. 

So while Trevor and the rest of the head honcho’s at the FA say they are targeting the 2018 and anything now would be a bonus but from what we’ve seen in the astonishing drop-off in quality over the last 8 years I would not expect England to trouble the upper echelons of a major final for another 20 years, with the exceptions of Hart and possibly Barkley, there isn’t anyone from now who could squeeze a place into that amazing squad fro then.

So are we looking back to the dark days of the seventies when the England squad failed even to qualify for international tournaments?  Well, no, I don’t think so, but in spite of two under 17 victories at youth level the lack of opportunities for these players at the highest level has caused no end of problems for the senior squad.

However in spite of this plummeting of standards this will not stop me from watching the world cup when it’s on and wishing Ray and the rest of the squad all the luck in the world

After watching the Netherlands last night, they will need it.

AN OPEN LETTER TO MICHAEL GRADE

Dear Mister Grade,

During the current celebrations of “DOCTOR WHO” many people (including current show supremo Stephen Moffat) have taken you to task over your role in canceling the series that they loved.  They have identified you in many ways as enemy number one in its demise (along with producer John Nathan Turner) and you have come in for so much stick it would seem in poor taste for a lifelong “DOCTOR WHO” fan like myself to add to your woes by ripping the hell out of you in an open letter like this

...So I won’t.

In fact, actually I would like to thank you for cancelling “DOCTOR WHO” when you did.  You see with the Doctor riding the crest of a wave in terms of popularity at the minute it seems crazy to thank someone for getting rid of such a hit show, but this is because history tends to be written by the winners and as such is usually wrong.  Let’s cast our minds back to where it all began, where it started to go wrong and why your decision was ultimately the right one.

Back in the heady days of 1963 BBC head of drama, Sydney Newman had an idea, not for a kid’s show, but for a drama, a sci-fi drama about a time-traveller that the entire family could watch.  

Giving his idea to newly promoted producer Verity Lambert (no relation ...as far as I’m aware.  ???) they enlisted a great actor to play the role and from 1963 through to 1979 the show was a runaway smash.  It may have been scary at times, and blighted by special effects that were never really that special, but it was undeniably a success (if you don’t think of all the times that the Fourth version on the Doctor has appeared in “THE SIMPSONS”.)  But then came an after effect, a ripple through time, of something that was so gargantuan that even “DOCTOR WHO” could not help but be affected, it was an after-shock from “STAR WARS”.

In 1980 ITV showed a big-budget sci-fi show called “BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY” which, before the big embarkation of the video age, caused a massive reduction in the Doctor’s viewing figures.  It had the big-effects of “STAR WARS” (well, cheap versions anyway) and so dragged some of the “STAR WARS” fans away (for only one season anyway as the second season of “BUCK ROGERS” was cack!) but this caused ripples at the BBC who replaced their tired old Doctor with a younger man (actually this was a good move as he was top!) and a new producer but apart from the new man at the helm this was the temporary end for the good Doctor as standards slid, the high-standards of writing slid and the show descended from Drama where it’s greatest moments always came from into the realm of being a mere kid’s show.

So history lesson over for those people who aren’t au fait with the show, this is why it left the screens, not because you were vindictive or had no vision to see what the show could be, it’s because it descended into farce.  The Irony is that over the other side of the pond around the time that our “DOCTOR WHO” was facing cancellation paramount television was  starting its own big budget sci-fi show “STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION” and learnt  something after the first two seasons, that the key to success is in the writing rather than the effects.  It was arguably this shift in quality in season 3 that not only kept “STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION” on our screens but also created 3 further “STAR TREK” spin-off series that lasted in total a staggering 24 seasons, including “NEXT GEN” itself (the image below is from what it is probably the highlight of all seven seasons of NEXT GEN, season five's THE INNER LIGHT.)  

If the show hadn’t died temporarily in 1989 it may not have been brought back when it was in 2005 with TV standards in this country reaching a point where both effects costs had reduced sufficiently but writing standards had increased sufficiently.  Now we have “DOCTOR WHO” back to where it should be, as a drama, occasionally comedic, but usually terrifying, and amazingly it’s all down to you, MIchael Grade, the man who saved “DOCTOR WHO” by killing it.

So unusual as it seems, from all the official Whovians out there, who love the show, and all the unofficial ones who do but don’t admit to it, I say, thank you.  Your contribution to the series has been noted, well, by one fan at least.

Mike Lambert (AKA Mr Chatable). 

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